Elf questionnaire

An elf towards the end of the Third Age yesterday.

Jen and I watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy on Blu-ray over the weekend. Half-way into The Fellowship of the Ring, I thought of a pretty crap joke, viz:

Q: What's the main cause of death for elves?
A: Blowing out the candles on their birthday cakes.

…Elves are immortal, you see. Thousands of candles. Over-exhaustion.

Please yourself. I told you it was a crap joke. But I didn't let that put me off trying to tell it to Jen…

Me: Do you know what the main cause of death is for elves?
Jen: Pixie-matosis.

Damn! That is so much better than my joke.

Later, as the Fellowship of the Ring were being attacked by thousands of goblins in the Mines of Moria, Jen wondered what in Middle Earth they all ate.

Orc luncheon meat, I suggested.

Still not as good as pixie-matosis, though. Dammit!

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


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