Elf questionnaire

Legolas
An elf towards the end of the Third Age yesterday.

Jen and I watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy on Blu-ray over the weekend. Half-way into The Fellowship of the Ring, I thought of a pretty crap joke, viz:

Q: What's the main cause of death for elves?
A: Blowing out the candles on their birthday cakes.

…Elves are immortal, you see. Thousands of candles. Over-exhaustion.

Please yourself. I told you it was a crap joke. But I didn't let that put me off trying to tell it to Jen…

Me: Do you know what the main cause of death is for elves?
Jen: Pixie-matosis.

Damn! That is so much better than my joke.

✽

Later, as the Fellowship of the Ring were being attacked by thousands of goblins in the Mines of Moria, Jen wondered what in Middle Earth they all ate.

Orc luncheon meat, I suggested.

Still not as good as pixie-matosis, though. Dammit!

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.

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