In hospital for a minor operation. A nurse asks me to fill in a questionnaire, detailing any medical conditions I might have. I say that I am allergic to cats. On learning this, the nurse writes the word CATS on a large, red label and attaches it to my wrist. This, she explains, is to warn the anaesthetist of my allergy.

I imagine the scene as the anaesthetist looks down at my comatose body, spots the warning label, sighs, and regretfully instructs his assistant to remove Fluffy from the operating theatre.

I wonder if that's why hospitals are so often after funding for cat scanners.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.

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