I’m not dead.
I visited hospital for a quick in-and-out operation yesterday. Well, more of a quick pop-it-back-in operation. After waiting more that a decade in the vain hope it might magically sort itself out, I finally got round to having my hernia fixed.
In the pre-op interview, the anaesthetist asked if I was allergic to anything:
—Don’t worry, I don't think we’re likely to encounter any of those in the operating theatre.
—Not if your CAT scanner is working.
—Blimey, that was quick! she laughed.
I didn’t like to admit I’d been waiting over 11 years to repeat my legendary CAT-scanner joke.
—Any other allergies?
—Avocados: I’ve not heard that one before! How does the allergy manifest itself?
—You really don’t want to know.
—I see. Not to worry, I won’t be administering any intravenous guacamole.
Still, we thought we’d better play it safe: