Here's what the Archbishop of Canterbury actually said about Sharia law.
See also: Sharia? Don't like it!
Several umpteen
BBC: Animal charity starts mole count
A conservation charity is calling for thousands of volunteers to take part in a national survey of moles… The survey will involve a molehill count because the underground-dwelling animals are rarely seen.
Honestly, I just couldn't be bothered. Do you reckon they'd accept several umpteen as a reasonable approximation?
Relative motion
NO IT'S NOT! The space shuttle and the International Space Station are set to dock at a relative speed of a few centimetres per second.
When the orange-tanned flight attendant pours you a measly portion of apple juice half-way over the Atlantic, the juice is not going into your plastic cup at several hundred miles per hour. It's all about relative motion within the aircraft's cabin. When the space shuttle catches up with the ISS, their relative speed is minuscule—that's the whole idea!
I'm not sure if Einstein got it right, though: if space and time are relatives, how come they never send me a birthday card?
Transplants and sequels
BBC: Arresting start for Mars sequel
Seven million viewers tuned in to watch the first episode of Ashes to Ashes, the sequel to BBC drama Life on Mars.
And jolly entertaining it was too. But I couldn't help noticing that the sequel to the surprise smash-hit series has been transplanted from Manchester (in the North of England) to London (in the south). A BBC conspiracy theorist might have a field day. Not enough grotty 1980s buildings in the North, I reckon.
I also couldn't help noticing that the BBC's sequel to Life on Mars was broadcast in the same week as its latest (and final) sequel to Life on Earth. Is the Beeb running out of ideas?
Sharia? Don't like it!
BBC: Williams under fire in Sharia row
The Archbishop of Canterbury has attracted widespread criticism after appearing to back the adoption of some aspects of Sharia law in the UK.
Now let's not be hasty about this…
I wonder where Sharia law stands on smoking in pubs, setting fire to wind turbines, shooting cats, not paying income tax, and slapping other people's children. It might be just the legal system we need!
Here comes the science bit
Guardian: MMR links to autism dismissed by huge study
There is no evidence to link the MMR vaccination to autism in children, according to a substantial new study published today.
BBC: Mobiles 'not brain cancer risk'
Mobile phone use does not raise the risk of brain tumours, a Japanese study suggests.
Get over it. This shit has been done to death. Now, can we move along, please?
More Masterchef
Ha! A tarot reader was just kicked off Masterchef. As Jen pointed out, she really should have foreseen that her chocolate fondant was going to be a total disaster and not even bothered to turn up.
Crime and pun-ishment
Masterchef (BBC2): Sarah's police training means she's focused and immediately takes to the kitchen environment.
Glad to see our boys and girls in blue are getting the training they need.
I take it the kitchen uses copper pans.
I wonder if they take truncheon vouchers.
(Lap 'em up chaps, these are the jokes.)
Hummingbloke
…or quite possibly a Bearded Tit.
Carolyn cooks a pie
Carolyn in an online chat the week before last (what can I say, I've been busy):
I was in a hurry the other night and wanted to give everyone an early tea. Howard always gives me a hard time about not planning ahead, so, I 'planned' to have chicken pie, potatoes and veg.
So, very organised, I switched on the oven and put in the pie, set the potatoes in the microwave and chopped the veg. An hour later, I opened the oven and the pie was gone!
I eventually found it in the other oven. I didn't want to own up so I threw it in the microwave where it all collapsed and back in the oven in a few bits so that I could take it out in an 'organised' fashion!
See also: Carolyn cooks 'luch'