Hollywood beckons

One of my sources at the BBC tipped me off that there might soon be a vacancy for a fat, bearded Merseysider for a new cookery show featuring Mary Berry and Mel & Kim. So I made this:

Lemon and ginger thingy

My culinary talents know no bounds.

Small om

They say you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. It turns out I can't make an omelette full-stop:

Pile of crêpe

A pile of crêpe this lunchtime.

Not quite the culinary masterpiece I envisaged. It tasted all right though. The Parmesan and chorizo filling was an inspired choice—even though it turned out to be more of a topping.

Postscript (16-Oct-2015): 24-hours later. Same recipe, same chef, different frying pan:

Omelette

Now that's more like it!

I think I might have peaked.

Slater, get real, man!

Jen and I watch a lot of cookery programmes on telly (although, being from Yorkshire, Jen tends to refer to them as cooking programmes). Last night, we watched a recording of one of Nigel Slater's Christmas specials, in which he improvised a meal called bauble and squeak (do you see what he did there?) from leftover goose, ham, pumpkin and roast potatoes.

Jen and I watched in open-mouthed incomprehension.

Who in God's holy name has ‘left-over roast potatoes’? And eight left-over roast potatoes at that!

Seasonal tip 3

Stumped for what to do with all that leftover turkey? Why not try this dead easy Thai chicken & mushroom broth recipe (substituting leftover turkey for leftover chicken, obviously)?

Seriously, it is rather special.

Seasonal tip

SproutsIf you don't like Brussels sprouts, you are almost certainly cooking them too long.

Sprouts should have a bit of crunch to them.

Sprouts are the food of the gods.

Recommended reading

The Guardian bookshop has a special offer on (for today only): Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's River Cottage Veg Every Day! for just £15. This is a real bargain, considering the book is currently a whopping £11.99 on Amazon.

But look at which other books the Guardian thinks you may [sic] also like, if you're the sort of person who is likely to buy a vegetarian cookbook:

Cropped screenshot

Guardian screenshot (cropped).

(Serves you right.)

Unpukka Cwistmas fakewy

It was 17.5°C in Hebden Bridge on Friday afternoon. I know, because I checked on my car's thermometer. The reason I checked was that the centre of town was covered in snow.

But it turned out that it wasn't snow; it was fake snow. Jamie Oliver was in town filming a Christmas ad for Sainsbury's.

So, when you see the ad, I want you to shout at the telly, "THAT'S NOT REAL SNOW! I KNOW FOR A FACT: I READ IT ON GRUTS!"

My farmer friend and her friend popped into Hebden Bridge shortly after the filming had finished. "What's that dreadful smell?" she asked.

Jamie Oliver's cooking, apparently.