The woman from UNCLE

UNCLEWhen I was at Boots the Chemist this morning, I couldn't help noticing that the woman behind the counter was wearing a black T-shirt with the word UNCLE emblazoned across her chest.

She didn't look like any sort of uncle I'd ever seen. I wondered if her T-shirt's inscription was intended as some strange take on the American phrase to say uncle. Somehow I doubted it. I toyed with the idea of making a lame joke about her being the Woman from Uncle, but, in the end, having lived in Yorkshire for many years, I decided that the direct approach was best:

“Do you know you've got the word UNCLE written on your T-shirt?” I asked.

The woman looked momentarily confused, stepped back, then tugged at the bottom of her T-shirt, stretching it out to reveal the word JINGLE, with a little star over the I.

This woman is allowed to dispense drugs.

Unpukka Cwistmas fakewy

It was 17.5°C in Hebden Bridge on Friday afternoon. I know, because I checked on my car's thermometer. The reason I checked was that the centre of town was covered in snow.

But it turned out that it wasn't snow; it was fake snow. Jamie Oliver was in town filming a Christmas ad for Sainsbury's.

So, when you see the ad, I want you to shout at the telly, "THAT'S NOT REAL SNOW! I KNOW FOR A FACT: I READ IT ON GRUTS!"

My farmer friend and her friend popped into Hebden Bridge shortly after the filming had finished. "What's that dreadful smell?" she asked.

Jamie Oliver's cooking, apparently.