J.A.G.

BBC: John Gwilliam: Wales Grand Slam-winning captain dies at 93
Gwilliam
Former Wales Grand Slam-winning captain John Gwilliam - who was part of the last Welsh team to beat New Zealand - has died at the age of 93…
Away from rugby, he served as a tank commander during the Second World War and was headmaster of the independent Birkenhead School from 1963 to 1988…
Gwilliam was described as a physically imposing, religious and austere, and he is remembered at Birkenhead School as a strict disciplinarian.

My old headmaster. Physically imposing, religious, austere, and a strict disciplinarian pretty much nails it.

As a young atheist, I used to disagree with him in Divinity (RE) lessons. He got his own back by making me into a 'monitor'. The difference between a monitor and a prefect was that monitors weren't required to read the lesson in school chapel. In my case, I'm pretty sure he didn't want to take the risk.

Our father


BBC: Archbishop of Canterbury learns real father was Churchill's private secretary
Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby says it “comes as a complete surprise” that a DNA test has revealed his real father was Winston Churchill's private secretary.

Meanwhile, in related news, Jesus is shocked to learn that his real father was some chap named Joseph.

Say three Hail Marys and a How's Your Father

BBC: Catholic priest Fr Stephen Crossan 'caught snorting cocaine in Nazi room'
A Catholic priest in Northern Ireland caught on video snorting cocaine in a room with Nazi memorabilia takes extended leave from the priesthood.

Come again?

Fishmonger [turning to me from an animated conversation]: Do you happen to know when Easter is next year?
Me: Yes, it'll be the first Sunday on or after the first full moon after the vernal equinox.
Fishmonger: Thanks!

...I've since looked it up, just to make sure, and it's not quite that simple. I blame the Council of Nicaea, and the Synod of Whitby.

On reflection, perhaps I should just have said 27th March.

Two Yorkshire residents watching telly last week

Me: Oh look, Tintern Abbey!
Jen: Yes it is!

Bishop's mate

Just saw this on the BBC News home page:

Welby seeks gay marriage bridge

I initially misread the headline as: Welby seeks gay marriage ‘bride’.

Now that would have been newsworthy!

Pontificating

BBC News: Pope Francis tries to build bridges in sceptical Turkey
A pontiff yesterday

Do you see what they did, there?...

Pontiff, from pontifex, from pons facere, the Latin for to make a bridge.

[My old Latin teacher, Spiny Norman, would be so proud of me.]