Trump inauguration

…two words that should never appear in the same sentence.

As usual, the Fall say all that needs to be said:

Judge not, lest ye be smirched

Dear, oh dear! The poor old Daily Heil is receiving some right stick from the unelected liberal elite for having the temerity to suggest that judges should base their decisions on what 52% of the British public has been duped into thinking it wants, rather than on any spurious legal arguments.

When you think about it, though, getting judges to make their rulings in line with what the Daily Heil tells its readers to think is a brilliant suggestion. The UK is desperately short of judges. Indeed, as the Heil was quick to point out, we're so short of judges, we're having to resort to employing openly gay men to make up their numbers. It's political correctness gone mad! I can only assume this shortage of judges must be down to the UK's notoriously rigorous judging exams.

Which is why the Heil's suggestion is so brilliant, you see. If we base our legal decisions on what it says in the leader pages of the tabloids, we don't need to put judges through rigorous judging exams any more; we just issue them with a copy of today's Daily Heil and a rubber stamp. Easy-peasy!

What could possibly go wrong?

Daily Heil

The leader page of the Daily Heil on Friday.

Compare and contrast

sun-jihadi-bollocksmail-england-bollocksfarage-poster-bollocks

guardian-jo-cox

Say three Hail Marys and a How's Your Father

BBC: Catholic priest Fr Stephen Crossan 'caught snorting cocaine in Nazi room'
A Catholic priest in Northern Ireland caught on video snorting cocaine in a room with Nazi memorabilia takes extended leave from the priesthood.

Lambeth Volk, Lambeth Reich, Lambeth Führer

Hands up if you're a knob-head

Knob-head

Alternative history

Guardian video: Robert Harris on Fatherland: 'What would have happened if Hitler had won?'

Answer: They would have banned smoking in all public buildings, started monitoring all of our personal correspondence, anaesthetised our brains with vapid television and radio programmes, banned dogs from beaches, and sold us a pack of lies about how we could combat climate change with a few windmills.

But I suppose the trains would at least run on time.