Taking back control

Guardian: Brexit blamed as record number of EU nurses give up on Britain

Record numbers of nurses and midwives from EU27 countries quit Britain last year, fuelling fears that a Brexit brain drain will deepen the NHS’s already chronic staffing crisis. A total of 3,962 such staff from the European Economic Area (EEA) left the Nursing and Midwifery Council register between 2017 and 2018.

Blue passports, everyone! Hold on to that thought… Blue passports!

Lateral thinking

I've just had a totally brilliant idea…

Why doesn't the UK stay in the EU, and leave the European Song Contest instead? That way, we get to make some sort of stupid nationalist point without actually doing something totally bloody insane.

You can thank me later.

Vive l’empire!

Things are going to be so much better when we (finally) ditch the so-called ‘EU’ and start dealing with our former colonies:

BBC: Commonwealth Games 2022: Birmingham only bidder for event
Birmingham was the only city to submit a bid to host the 2022 Commonwealth Games before Saturday's deadline, the Commonwealth Games Federation says. Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, Victoria in Canada and a potential Australian entry had been thought to be possible bidders but none came forward.

Stronger and stabler

BBC: Conservatives agree pact with DUP to support May government

An agreement has been reached which will see the Democratic Unionist Party back Theresa May’s minority government.
The deal, which comes two weeks after the election resulted in a hung Parliament, will see the 10 DUP MPs back the Tories in key Commons votes.
There will be £1bn extra for Northern Ireland over the next two years.

One-billion pounds for 10 DUP votes. That's a mere £100-million per unspeakable DUP MP.

The Brussels Brexit negotiators must be shitting bricks.

Actually, I think Theresa May might have played a blinder here: when you haven't a leg to stand on, acting insane is probably your best strategy for getting people to fall for your bluffs: she might actually be that crazy.