I've just had a totally brilliant idea…
Why doesn't the UK stay in the EU, and leave the European Song Contest instead? That way, we get to make some sort of stupid nationalist point without actually doing something totally bloody insane.
You can thank me later.
Things are going to be so much better when we (finally) ditch the so-called ‘EU’ and start dealing with our former colonies:
BBC: Commonwealth Games 2022: Birmingham only bidder for event
Birmingham was the only city to submit a bid to host the 2022 Commonwealth Games before Saturday's deadline, the Commonwealth Games Federation says. Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, Victoria in Canada and a potential Australian entry had been thought to be possible bidders but none came forward.
BBC: Conservatives agree pact with DUP to support May government
An agreement has been reached which will see the Democratic Unionist Party back Theresa May’s minority government.
The deal, which comes two weeks after the election resulted in a hung Parliament, will see the 10 DUP MPs back the Tories in key Commons votes.
There will be £1bn extra for Northern Ireland over the next two years.
One-billion pounds for 10 DUP votes. That's a mere £100-million per unspeakable DUP MP.
The Brussels Brexit negotiators must be shitting bricks.
Actually, I think Theresa May might have played a blinder here: when you haven't a leg to stand on, acting insane is probably your best strategy for getting people to fall for your bluffs: she might actually be that crazy.
Compare and contrast:
Telegraph (09-Jan-2017): Boris Johnson says Britain will be first in line for US trade deal after meeting with Donald Trump's team and Paul Ryan
Britain is "first in line" for a trade deal with the US, Boris Johnson has said after talks with Donald Trump's senior advisers.
The closeness of the relationship between the UK and US will not change once the president-elect takes office, the Foreign Secretary insisted.
Why, it's almost as if Brexit liar Boris Johnson either hasn't a clue what he's talking about, or is, well, a liar.
Or possibly both.
Boris Johnson recently.
As the UK government ploughs on with the insanity that is Brexit, and on the day that Labour loses one of its safest seats to the Tories, what the hell, you might begin to wonder, has the leader of Her Majesty's Most Loyal Opposition got to say about the price of fish?
Well, this tweet from last November might offer some insight: