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Wired News: Chemical Arms Demolition Delayed (02-Oct-03)
Already more than $23 billion over budget and 13 years behind schedule, America's program for destroying its stockpile of chemical weapons will now be delayed until 2012, at least.
Apparently, the Americans are experiencing some difficulty finding said chemical weapons. Nothing new there, then.
Who says satire is dead?
BBC: Be more punctual, Ecuadorians are urged (01-Oct-03)
Fire sirens will sound and church bells ring out at midday around Ecuador to mark the launch of the government's campaign to eradicate sloppy timekeeping.
So we can expect the sirens to go off at about 12:30, can we?
BBC: Germany begins to turns against wind (29-Sep-03)
…The wind sector has even come under attack from an unexpected source. Environmentalists have attacked plans for Germany's first offshore wind park, due to be constructed in the North Sea in 2005. They say the windmills are noisy, ugly and a danger to bird life.
Sounds to me as if someone wants to have their Battenberg and eat it. But good on them: at least they're starting to acknowledge that there might actually be some drawbacks with these formerly impeccable wind power-stations.
…Yes, that's right: power-stations; not wind farms; not wind parks; wind power-stations. Damn clever naming them after lovely green things like farms and parks. And have you ever noticed how these power-stations don't generate energy by slowing down the wind (thereby altering the climate)? No, they harvest the wind. How irreproachable! And don't windmills sound so much nicer than horrible, industrial-sounding wind turbines? But I suppose you'd expect the proponents of wind power to know all about spin.
Postscript: I stand corrected. Apparently, wind powerstations don't slow the wind down; they speed it up! But my basic argument still stands: wind powerstations remove energy from the wind, so they affect the climate.
Another great headline I can't believe I missed from earlier this month:
BBC: Self-parking car hits the shops (01-Sep-03)
Three items from this morning's political news (courtesy of the BBC):
Tories fear 'birth dearth'
People should have more children to counter an ageing population in Europe, a Tory MP is expected to argue.
Lib Dems to focus on tax
…The Lib Dems have promised to abolish council tax as soon as possible after coming to power and to replace it with a local income tax of up to 3%.
University admissions shake-up
The university applications system faces an overhaul, as a [Labour] government task force looks for a fairer way of selecting students. This could include taking into account social disadvantages and the type of school a student attended.
I'm in a real quandry here: with so many objectionable ideas being generated by each of the UK's major political parties, come the next election, how on earth am I going to decide which party I don't want to vote for the least?
"That'll be £1.50, please."
"There you are."
"Would you like a banana?"
"What are you trying to say, like?"
"They're free!"
"You'll be telling me they grown on trees next."
You know what really winds me up? When a friend pops round to your place to ask for a favour, and, while you're agreeing to do it, unbeknownst to you, their dog is pissing on your briefcase.
BBC: Binge drinking costing billions
Britain's binge drinking culture is costing the country £20 billion a year, according to a government report.
Oh, crap, here we go: they've persecuted the poor old smokers into hiding, so now they're going to turn their guns on the drinkers. Hey, I've got a great New-Labour-type solution to the problem: rather than harmonise our taxes with Europe (like we're supposed to, if you remember, so we can adopt the euro), why don't we put a ridiculously high tax on alcohol? Oh, hang on…
How long before the first passive drinking stories, do you reckon? And then, no doubt, they'll try to ban the consumption of alcohol in pubs.
BBC: UK bans spam messages
The UK has made spam a criminal offence to try to stop the flood of unsolicited messages.
Well, that's that one sorted, then. Phew!
BBC: Sleep position gives personality clue
Scientists believe the position in which a person goes to sleep provides an important clue about the kind of person they are.
Personally, I tend to go to sleep in bed. Apparently, this means I'm a natural sceptic, who doesn't believe in bullshit theories.
Professor Idzikowski also found that one arm or leg sticking out of the duvet is Britain's most common position, followed by both feet poking out the end.
If you sleep in the former position, you have the sort of personality that makes you buy duvets that are too hot; if you sleep in the latter position, you have the sort of personality that makes you buy duvets that are too short.