So, anyway, I'm walking through Liverpool at lunchtime today, when I suddenly come across hundreds of people holding flags, clearly waiting for something... Shit! I'd forgotten the queen was in town. So I head off down James Street to escape the sycophantic mob.
Then I see it: the police car and the Bentley without number plates. I stare in disbelief as Her Majesty and Greek Phil drive past, waving at me (I am the only person on that particular stretch of pavement, so it can only be me they're waving at).
I'm a staunch anti-royalist; I have two seconds to make my mark. What to do? Raise a clenched fist and shout "Power to the people"? Turn my back in disgust? Show them the finger?
Yes, you've guessed it, I waved back (with what I hope was an ironic look on my face).
…Well, she's an old lady, and it's her golden jubilee year. She thought I was a loyal subject. What else could I do?