Conversation with Jen this morning:
R I couldn't get any lamb mince for our burgers at Tesco yesterday. I'll try to get some this morning.
J If you can't get any, minced beef will do.
R How about pork?
J I don't think so.
R … I wonder why you can't get chicken mince.
J You probably can. You just haven't looked for it.
R I'll bet you can get it in the Jewish section at Tesco.
R Well, they're supposed to eat a lot of chicken, by all accounts—because it's kosher, I suppose.
J How about beef? Is that kosher?
R I don't think so… Oh, hand on a minute, yes it is, because cattle chew the cud and have cloven hooves.
J So why aren't pigs kosher, then? They have cloven hooves.
R Yes, but they don't chew the cud. The rule is you mustn't eat animals with cloven hooves unless they chew the cud. The way I look at it, the chewing of the cud cancels out the cloven-hoofedness.
J … Someone's put a lot of thought into this, haven't they?
R Yes, it was God apparently. I told you He was fucking nuts!