Not too impressed, to beetrootful

Ann and Bill visited us the other week. We took them to the local cheese shop. Do we know how to show our guests a good time, or what?

As well as cheese, the cheese shop stocks a fine selection of unusual, specialists foodstuffs—special pastas, chocolates, preserves, oils, etc. Which is how I came to talk Ann into buying a packet of beetroot crisps. We'd been to the pub; it seemed like a really good idea at the time.

Anyway, Ann got her own back by buggering off home and leaving her beetroot crisps behind.

Last weekend, after a couple of glasses of wine, I got the munchies. I wanted something savoury, and the only thing I could find in the cupboard was Ann's packet of beetroot crisps. So I gave them a taste test. Here are my findings:

  • beetroot crisps are extremely nasty
  • if you don't like beetroot, you are definitely not going to like beetroot crisps: they taste just like beetroot, but have the added disadvantage of being hard and crispy
  • some surprising food combinations (jam and cheese, black pepper and strawberry) work; beetroot and crisps does not
  • beetroot crisps dye the inside of your mouth purple

I ate the whole packet, of course. There was a principle involved—although I forget what it was.

Ann, I'll let you know how I get on with the roasted broad beans fritas.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. I had no intention of visiting yet another tired old Monty Python sketch. I'm a reformed character...from now on I am 'Urban Space Man'* & will only comment using quotes from Bonzo Dog Band songs! (& the occasional quote from Viv Stanshall solo albums!
    Yes, I know spaceman is one word, but it looks more absurd as two!

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