Now there's an interesting experiment someone should try: sprinkle a whole pile of cat-repellent crystals over the floor in a small room and throw a cat in. If the stuff is worth its salt, the cat should end up hovering a few inches above the floor, a bit like one of those Japanese trains.
From a letter to Stense, 07-Apr-2002
Do you know how to make a cat bark?
Pour petrol over it, light it & WOOF!
Do you know how to make a dog go 'Meow'?
Snap freeze it in liquid nitrogen and push it through a bandsaw.