An arch-conservative cardinal chosen by the Pope to deliver this year's Lenten meditations to the Vatican hierarchy has caused consternation by giving warning of an Antichrist who is "a pacifist, ecologist and ecumenist".
Cardinal Giacomo Biffi, 78, who retired as Archbishop of Bologna three years ago, quoted Vladimir Solovyov (1853-1900), the Russian philosopher and mystic, as predicting that the Antichrist "will convoke an ecumenical council and seek the consensus of all the Christian confessions".
What a hoot! I honestly had no idea people were still going on about the Antichrist in this day and age. I thought He must have gone the way of limbo by now. What a total, total hoot!
But hang on a second. The Antichrist is supposed to be the exact opposite of the Christ, right? It's just like anti-matter and matter: when the two meet, all hell is supposed to break loose. So, if the Antichrist is a pacifist, ecologist and ecumenist, does this mean that the Christ is a warmongering, environmentally unsound religious bigot?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL US, CARDINAL?
OK, now I'm really scared.