Salt & pepper

While we were out playing the Paparazzo Game the other week, Stense complimented me on my "salt and pepper beard".

It wasn't until the following day that I realised what Stense was really trying to tell me was that my beard has recently developed quite a few grey flecks. I sent her a text message, pointing out that she had spoken about my salt and pepper beard as if it was a good thing to have. Her reply:

Of course! It's a very distinguished look - well done! Stense xx

Distinguished! I liked that! For about 24 hours, that was. Then it occurred to me that I have only ever heard the adjective distinguished used to describe elderly people. The cheeky cow!

The problem with having my particular salt and pepper beard is that three or four of its grey hairs have chosen to clump together directly under my left nostril. From a distance, when the beard hasn't been trimmed for a couple of weeks, this can look uncannily like a trail of snot.

Which isn't particularly distinguised.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. Like your good self, I sport a beard. The strange thing is that, being a huge Zappa (and Beefheart) fan, I have never been sad enough to grow a Zappa 'imperial'. Since going grey, the only part of my beard that is not pure white is the 'Zappa bit'. I seem to remember I sent you a photo by email a few months back.

  2. Ivor Cutler once described someone as having 'a for-goodness'-sake-cut-it-off moustache'. I always think that way when I see people trying to make a statement with their fancy beards.

    Don't remember receiving any photo, but I quite often have difficulty reading your attachments.

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