It's the Sun wot done it

In the wake of last week's arrests, I was wondering whether the Sun newspaper would have enough journalists left to make up this week's news.

It turns out I needn't have worried. This morning's Sun shows absolutely no change in quality or impartiality:

Lags moan: Our hot chocolate’s too hot
PAMPERED lags are costing taxpayers thousands of pounds through trivial complaints like their COCOA being too hot.

60 stone British man is fattest in the world
A BRIT weighing nearly 60 stone has become the world's fattest man — after the previous record-holder went on a DIET.

Pizza diet could kill me, says scared Claire
A WOMAN who has eaten only cheese and tomato pizza for 31 years has been told she could DIE unless she quits her bizarre dining habit.

New dog food advert is mutt-see television
VIEWING figures will go through the woof tonight — with a telly commercial only DOGS can hear.

Witch-hunt puts us behind ex-Soviets on Press
THE Sun is not a "swamp" that needs draining. Nor are those other great News International titles, The Times and The Sunday Times. Yet in what would at any other time cause uproar in Parliament and among civil liberty and human rights campaigners, its journalists are being treated like members of an organised crime gang.

We can all sleep soundly in our beds, knowing that the Fourth Estate is still holding the world to account on our behalves.

Fascinating stuff, though. Do you think that, if Claire were to give up pizza, she really might live forever?


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