And, lo, it came to pass that a child was born in lowly Paddington, to humble parents. And all of heaven did rejoice, and all the people in all the lands of the Earth did raise up their voices and sing, for it was a miracle child. For, in all the history of mankind, no woman did ever bear child before.
And the Earth did shake. And men did converse with wolves. And the great enemy of the south was thwarted. And Vanessa Hudgens did share bikini holiday snaps with her blonde pal. And horses did enter burger restaurants. And Big Pharma did mobilise patients in battle over drugs trials data.
And there was an end to war and pestilence. And peace fell across all the lands. And God saw, and said it was good.