A blight for sore eyes

No, it's not a bucket full of maggots; it's my entire potato crop for 2002. That's 63 spuds in total, with the average size of a kidney bean. Why such a poor crop? Slugs, my friend, slugs. Of course, you realise, this means war. Postscript [04-Oct-02]: They were delicious, by the way. (The potatoes, that… Continue reading A blight for sore eyes

Water babies

BBC: Water birth drowning risk Babies born under water could be at risk of drowning and breathing difficulties, say researchers. And people get paid for this?

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Sports buff

Her Majesty was in the region yesterday to open the Commonwealth Games: individuals from 72 geographical entities (most of them places you've never heard of), competing for recognition as the greatest athlete in the erstwhile British Empire (excluding certain nations who are too stuffy to join the commonwealth - yes, I have you in mind,… Continue reading Sports buff

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Royal Salute

So, anyway, I'm walking through Liverpool at lunchtime today, when I suddenly come across hundreds of people holding flags, clearly waiting for something... Shit! I'd forgotten the queen was in town. So I head off down James Street to escape the sycophantic mob. Then I see it: the police car and the Bentley without number… Continue reading Royal Salute

Beard

Carolyn's young son, Aran (pointing at my beard): "How do you do that?"

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Martin Amis

Martin Amis [Guardian]: The voice of the lonely crowd Since it is no longer permissible to disparage any single faith or creed, let us start disparaging all of them. To be clear: an ideology is a belief system with an inadequate basis in reality; a religion is a belief system with no basis in reality… Continue reading Martin Amis

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Queen

BBC: Sir Elton performs in Queen's palace No, this doesn't mean he's been performing at home.

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Dock Pudding

Hebden Bridge Times: 'Cooking Up a Seasonal Treat' Trevor and Joan Whitworth knotched (sic) up a hat-tick of victories in the World Dock Pudding Championships on Sunday. Mr and Mrs Whitworth of Skircoat Green, Halifax, again beat all comers at Mytholmroyd Community Centre to win a special dock pudding plate, the Evening Courier trophy and… Continue reading Dock Pudding

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Ofsted reply

I have now received a reply to my letter to Ofsted about all the recent Gateshead creationist nonsense. The Chief Inspector of Schools sounds like a good chap. Postscript [04-May]: Me and my big mouth! He's left his job.

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