When I'm not rescuing little birds from drainpipes, I like to save the planet in other ways. This morning, I decided to help reduce demands on the world's limited petrochemical resources by freewheeling my car into town. I live near the top of a hill, and the town is a mile away in the bottom… Continue reading Freewheeling
Author: Richard Carter
A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.
Tits out
I did a very fine and noble thing this afternoon. I suppose it would be a whole lot nobler if I didn't tell anyone about it, but that's just not my style. I was just about to start mowing the lawn, when I heard a right old racket coming from a nearby drainpipe. Rats, I… Continue reading Tits out
Big nob
An emailer (whom, for what I hope are obvious reasons, I have anonymised) writes: …I was searching for an image on google using the phrase "big nob" and was presented with a picture of "Stense" and nothing else !! Dammit if he isn't right. I've worked out why this happens and, Stense, if you're reading… Continue reading Big nob
Literary Greats
BBC: Rare Woolf manuscripts bought A series of previously unpublished manuscripts hand-written by Virginia Woolf are among a collection that has been bought by The British Library. The manuscripts form part of two mock newspapers composed by Woolf's nephews, Julian and Quentin Bell, as children. Mock newspaper articles: hardly likely to be of the calibre… Continue reading Literary Greats
Old perv
It was my birthday yesterday. It was also the 20th anniversary of my being legally entitled to buy myself a pint. So I celebrated in the most appropriate way: by going down the pub and drinking large amounts of lovely, strong, warm British beer. Not bad for a Wednesday afternoon. The day before, I received… Continue reading Old perv
Conversation with dad
Me: "Did you know that Stense is a Buddhist?" Dad: "What, by choice?"
Snail mail
Nobody I sent post cards to from Barcelona over a fortnight ago has received them yet. Friends, I sent them, honest I did - although I'm beginning to suspect that the yellow postbox I wasn't too sure about might have been a Metro air-conditioning vent after all. Postscript: The post cards finally arrived.
Comedy classic
My dad's favourite gardening fork broke recently, so he asked me if I could try to get him a new handle from the local hardware shop. Yes, that's right, this morning I finally got to walk into a hardware shop and ask for "fork handles". The woman behind the counter smiled knowingly. "Would that be… Continue reading Comedy classic
Finding my audience
I'm losing my touch. I was at a meeting this morning where there were three people named Richard sitting next to each other. "I suppose this is what you call an embarrassment of Richards," I remarked amusingly… Not a sausage; not even a snigger. Then, to make matters worse, I meet Carolyn for coffee, and… Continue reading Finding my audience
Untitled
Eureka Alert: Men overestimate the number of sexual partners they have had in their lives [12-Mar-03] …It remains, however, unclear as to how male overestimation could result in such a wide disparity in the reported number of lifetime sexual partners. In my day, it was called bullshitting. Postscript: What the hell am I talking about?… Continue reading Untitled