The colour of bullshit

Some progress at last! We'll need to flesh out one or two details later, obviously, but the good news is our Prime Minister has a firm handle on precisely what colour Brexit needs to be. And it's not just one colour, it's three: red, white and blue!

That certainly seems to clarify matters.

They've been putting an awful lot of thought into this, you can tell. I feel almost stupid for voting for the other side.


The above BBC headline is completely correct: it is a myth that antibiotics can cure most coughs and colds, and that myth is rife.

But can you imagine the BBC publishing the following headline?

Myth of homeopathic efficacy still rife

No, me neither. The second headline is equally correct, but the BBC seems scared to say so. Instead, they remain neutral, saying stuff like:

  • Supporters believe homeopathy helps relieve a range of minor ailments from bruising to insomnia
  • But critics say it is no better than sugar pills and people only get better because they believe the treatment will work - the so-called placebo effect

There are scientifically valid ways of testing medical efficacy. Antibiotics fail these tests for most coughs and colds. Homeopathy fails these tests for all medical conditions. But the BBC, bizarrely and irresponsibly, seems only prepared to report quite categorically the former.

Oh, and in case you were wondering which other 'minor ailments' homeopathy's supporters claim that it can treat (not just 'relieve'), well, for a start, there is malaria and aids.

Stiff competition

Talking of homeopathic bullshit (which, if you remember, I recently was): Russian men seek sex salvation
…Impaza is one of a new generation of medicines using homeopathic doses of antibodies to control the behaviour of certain molecules in the body. It takes effect earlier in the erection process than Viagra, stimulating the production of a gas—nitrogen oxide—in the cells of the penis.

But the really frightening thing about this article is the opening paragraph: "Why is the lion the king of the animals? Because of his tufty tool. And what makes a man really a man? You know perfectly well."

Just for the record, I do not now have, and never wish to possess, a tufty tool.

Getting beyond a joke

Homeopathy for Children signPlease, for once in your sad, inadequate, gullible lives, listen, you stupid, naïve dupes—homeopathy doesn't work; homeopathy can't work because it's pseudo-scientific bullshit. These charlatans are fobbing you off with snake oil and taking your money. It won't make your kids any better. You are being irresponsible with their welfare, and if the government really cared as much as it claims to about children, the social services would break into your homes, take away your children, and give them to somebody at least vaguely in touch with reality.

I'm sorry if your children are ill, I really am, but stop pissing about and take them to a doctor.