The lovely couple yesterday.

I see Prince William has finally plucked up the courage to propose to Kate Winslet. I'm no royalist, but I have to say they make a lovely couple.

It is reported that William sought Kate's father's permission to marry his daughter. Evidently, Mr Winslet neglected to enquire whether there was a history of madness in William's family.

Far be it from me to raise a touchy subject at this early stage, but I do hope the Powers That Be at Buckingham Palace will be urging Kate not to get her tits out during the wedding ceremony. Let's face it, she does have something of a reputation. But, like them or loathe them, royal weddings are supposed to be dignified occasions.

Put 'em away, Kate, we've seen them before!