Conversation with an expert gardener yesterday

Me: The weeds have taken over our rockery again this year. I'm thinking of spraying them.
Gardener: I've got this marvellous stuff you can use. It kills anything green, but is perfectly safe for children and cats.
Me: You don't have anything that's unsafe for children and cats do you?

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.

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