…surrounded by fucking windmills:
BBC: Wind ‘could power all UK homes’
All UK homes could be powered by offshore wind farms by 2020 as part of the fight against climate change, under plans unveiled by John Hutton.
Up to 7,000 turbines could be installed to boost wind produced energy 60-fold by 2020…
Mr Hutton conceded that having a wind installation every half-mile around the coast was “going to change our coastline”.
The lunacy continues.
Jen: Do you want one of these satsumas?
Me: What? You’re eating satsumas in my car!
Jen: They’re really good.
Me: You’ll stink the car out. I’ve only just got rid of the fish & chips smell from two months back!
Jen: Don’t be such a kill-joy! Satsumas aren’t like fish & chips: they smell all Christmassy.
Me: So does reindeer shit, but I don’t want my car smelling of it!
Eddie Izzard – Death Star Canteen (with added Lego™):
I attended a former colleague’s funeral service yesterday. Nice chap. He would have been amused to know that he was responsible for making me go to church. I sat right at the back and tried to ignore the vicar, who took advantage of his captive audience.
Half-way through the service, someone’s mobile phone began to ring: [I fell into a burning] Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. You couldn’t make it up.
I’m sure my late colleague would have laughed his head off.
We’re all guilty of making selective references. Oh yes we are. You can paraphrase me on part of that, if you like. It’s a perfectly natural thing to do—especially if you’re trying to prove some point.
There were some great examples of selective references in this week’s Any Questions programme on Radio 4. When asked a question about climate change, each of the politicians on the show (apart from the Labour Party rep) referred to the valedictory speech of the UK government’s Chief Scientific Adviser, Sir David King, which was critical of certain government policies. The woman from the Green Party even took the opportunity to explain how Sir David had previously described climate change as a far greater threat to the world than international terrorism (which indeed he had), so shouldn’t we be spending a lot more money on it than on some “illegal war”? [Cue applause.]
What all these politicians inexplicably neglected to mention, however, was what else Sir David said in his speech. Unfortunately, I have been unable to track down a transcript, so will selectively quote from the BBC’s coverage to prove some sort of point of my own:
[Sir David] said: “I would love to see Britain back at the forefront of positive use of GM technology.” He added: “The process of GM technology should not be banned. The products of GM technology should be clearly monitored one by one.”
He believes there is a moral case for the UK and the rest of Europe to grow GM crops, and thinks Europe’s backing would kick-start a technology that could help the world’s poorest in Africa.
…or how about this one?
He told BBC News that he was disappointed that the UK government had not pushed forward with more [nuclear] power stations in the 2003 Energy White Paper; the government said that it wanted to see if renewables would fill the gap.
However, Sir David now says that he knew at the time he did not believe renewables on their own would be enough.
(I won’t quote the bit about his thoughts on culling badgers, as I don’t happen to agree with him on that one.)
About this time of year, our nextdoor neighbour’s hens go into a mid-winter sulk, and our regular supply of ultra-low food miles, organic, freerange eggs dries up.
As luck would have it, last Saturday, Jen‘s mum had half a dozen spare eggs from her nextdoor neighbour’s pullets, which she let us have.
“Does this mean we’ve been given a pullet surprise?” I asked Jen.
Jen looked at me blankly.
“Pullet surprise!” I repeated. “Geddit? I thought it was a pretty clever, spontaneous joke.”
“So did I the last time you made it,” said Jen.
New Scientist: Anti-smoking drug linked to violent behaviour
The anti-smoking drug Chantix is to be investigated by the US Food and Drug Administration after reports linked it to suicidal and violent behaviour.
Of course, an alternative explanation might be that depriving a naturally suicidal or violent person of the calming effect of nicotine might lead to suicidal or violent behaviour.
Fags do have certain benefits to society, as well as their drawbacks.
BBC: Concern over HIV homeopathy role
Doctors and health charities have expressed concern about a conference which will examine the role of homeopathy in treating HIV.
The event includes discussion of what have been described as “healing remedies” for HIV and AIDS.
One of the speakers believes that the treatment, involving flower essences, can be used to halt the AIDS epidemic.
In case any of these homeopaths were wondering, the ‘V’ in HIV stands for virus. Viruses are parasitic segments of genetic code which replicate by incorporating themselves into their host’s own genetic material and piggybacking on the host’s genetic replication process. It is debatable whether viruses should be viewed as living organisms at all, but they often participate in evolutionary arms races with their hosts as the hosts evolve counter-measures against the viruses and the viruses evolve corresponding counter-counter measures.
Antibiotics, the most powerful form of medicine known to man, have no effect on viruses. In order to fight viruses such as HIV, we need to develop special anti-viral drugs. In the case of HIV treatment, patients require a cocktail of other drugs to treat the undesirable side-effects of the anti-viral drugs—and other drugs to overcome the side-effects of some of those drugs. It’s far from an ideal situation, but it’s the best we have at present—and it has vastly extended the life-expectancy of those people with HIV who are lucky enough to live in countries which can afford such treatments.
Adding a few homeopathic sugar-pills to the cocktail of real medicines given to people with HIV will not (and, indeed, cannot) do any harm. But be in no doubt whatsoever that near-infinite dilutions of flower essences have no role to play in our genetic war against the human immunodeficiency virus.
Anyone who advocates homeopathy as an alternative treatment to HIV, however, deserves to be set on fire. Then put out very slowly.
With a spade.
BBC: Shortlist revealed for BBC award
Ten contenders have been named on the shortlist for the 2007 BBC Sports Personality of the Year award.
I couldn’t help noticing that the shortlist does not include a single representative from the sport of pathetic, overpaid, mincing prima donnas.
I had no idea Gruts was so influential.
And this one’s mine:
The perfect pop song. Check out the Steve Earle version, if you get the chance.
Good grief, even the Christians are at it now:
What next: a pact with Al Qaeda?
The pope has made a primate into a cardinal.
It’s like something out of StarTrek™:
Billy Bragg: New England
I was twenty-one years when I wrote this song
I’m twenty-two now, but I won’t be for long…
Read those lyrics again. Go on, I’ll wait for you…
Did you spot the temporal paradox? Billy Bragg says that he was 21 years old when he wrote the song, but that he’s 22 now. But, when he wrote the song, ‘now’ was back then, when he was still 21—so how could he have been 22? And, if he was still 21 when he wrote the song, why did he refer to it in the past tense?
It’s as if the 22-year-old future Red Wedge crooner totally fucked up the timeline by getting sucked into some wormhole in space and sent back one year so that there were two of him, aged 21 and 22 respectively, at the same time.
That has got to be breaking the Temporal Prime Directive.
Either that, or Billy Bragg is a bloody liar.
LCD Soundsystem: North American Scum:
I heard someone use the expression the other day: “Let’s do a working breakfast!” they said, without a hint of irony. I’ll bet it’s some nasty American fad.
Breakfasts aren’t for working. Breakfasts are for grunting, farting and putting food and tea into your face while you try to work out what the hell day it is.
No, let’s not do a working breakfast.
Actually, on second thoughts, yes, let’s! We can ‘do’ it at my place. I do breakfast at 5:30am. See you there.
BBC: England 2–3 Croatia
England failed to qualify for Euro 2008 after losing a sensational game against Croatia at Wembley.
Why do we waste valuable airtime on these pathetic no marks? Time to embrace a vastly superior sport as our national game.
(Well done, Croatia, by the way. You showed up our pathetic, overpaid, mincing prima donnas for what they are: a bunch of pathetic, overpaid, mincing prima donnas.)
You can’t fault the Grauniad on how they grade their puzzles. Yesterday’s Futoshiki was piss-easy:
BBC: BBC Trust commissions news review
The BBC’s governing body is to review the corporation’s coverage of news across the UK following devolution…
BBC trustee Richard Tate said the devolution of powers in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland had presented “new challenges” for the corporation.
That’s all well and good for those parts of the UK which have devolved government, but what about the rest of us?
It’s a matter of continuing irritation to those of living beyond the M25 just how little news coverage we receive in so-called national news broadcasts. The BBC’s dismissive attitude to those of us living north of Epping Forest—those odd chaps who pronounce their A’s short and live on tripe and whippets—is nicely illustrated by the role of North of England Correspondent. Note the singular: the BBC thinks it proportionate to dedicate as many correspondents to the whole of the North of England as it does to a handful of German toffs down the Palace who pronounce their A’s long.
I live in the biggest county in England: Yorkshire. I can’t remember the last time I heard national BBC News coverage of anything that happened in this county. What’s that you say? Yorkshire is four counties. I stand corrected. Well, our neighbours in North Yorkshire live in the biggest county in England, and I still can’t remember the last time I heard national BBC News coverage of anything that happened in that county.
But perhaps that’s because national news bulletins are becoming increasingly irrelevant. I gave up on national BBC TV and Radio news coverage years ago, and now totally rely on RSS feeds for my news coverage. I have a really nifty feed which delivers any news stories which mention Hebden Bridge direct to my desktop, and another for stories which mention Charles Darwin. Oh, and I also have (at the last count) 157 other news feeds, all of which are relevent to me. If Stense gets mentioned in the arty-farty press, I pick up on the story almost immediately (and totally freak her out by sending her a link—I suspect she thinks I’m stalking her). If someone links to Gruts or comments on one of my photos on Flickr or publishes the latest edition of a podcast I like, I am informed automagically. It’s like having my own very, very personal newspaper.
So, if you haven’t got into RSS feeds yet, why not give them a go? Hell, there’s even one for Gruts. All you need is an RSS Reader (I use and recommend Google Reader), and the world is your oyster in a nutshell.
Gaa! The the cat’s out of the bag! Now you know how it is that I am so incredibly well informed.
You’ve got to hand it to opera singers, they have such memorable names. Maria Callous, Luciano Paparazzi, Plácebo Domingo: an awful lot of marketing effort went into coming up with those handles.
But there’s a new diva in town whose name really does take the biscuit. I speak of none other than Anne-Sofie von Otter.
Now there’s a lady destined for stardom!
During an instant messaging session with Carolyn last night, I drew her attention to a brilliant photograph I had spotted on the Flickr photosharing website, which I thought she would like. She did.
In return, Carolyn drew my attention to the following comment made about said photograph:
{wyethhouse} (pro) says:
it’s really great! full of life and expression
As Carolyn pointed out, the commenter’s own photograph is anything but!