The Metropolitan Police is assessing new information it has recently received about the deaths of Princess Diana and Dodi Al Fayed in 1997.
If I were a conspiracy theorist, I might point out how deeply suspicious it is that this story has broken just a couple of weeks before the premier of a brand new Princess Diana biopic.
Mind you, if I were a conspiracy theorist, I would no doubt also point out that Princess Diana was assassinated with a lethal MMR injection administered by MI6 agents working for Big Pharma, while Dodi Fayed was a lizard in human form who was abducted by aliens because Prince Philip didn't like the cut of his jib.
And have you noticed how ‘Princess Diana’ is an anagram of ‘rancid pansies’ (and ‘sardines panic’)? Well then!