WARNING: Contains Tolkienesque nerdiness.
Nonsense
Look, I said I was sorry!
Will Stense ever forgive me my tiny faux pas?
Abstinonsense
Many Britons would give up favourite things, including sex, to reach 100 years of age, a poll suggests.
Hey, I've found just the place to store all those green boats!
But is it art?
Strasbourg collective
'Quit Strasbourg' public tells EU
Thinking-man's strumpet
Joan Bakewell on smoking.
Sadistic asshat
Ubiquitin C-terminal hydrolase L1, my arse!
Definitely maybe
From a instant messaging conversation with Carolyn.
Disinterested adjudicator
In which role I am asked to act.
HOLD THE FRONT PAGE!
Sir Menzies arrives at conference.