Bleak doctrine

Terry Eagleton, writing in the London Review of Books recently:

[T]he Romantic poet's richly particularised voice is largely a way of giving tongue to the transcendent. From Wordsworth to D.H. Lawrence, one speaks most persuasively when one articulates what is not oneself, whether one calls this Nature or the creative imagination, the primary processes or the dark gods. The self runs down to unfathomably anonymous roots. Men and women emerge as unique beings through a medium (call it Geist, History, Language, Culture or the Unconscious) that is implacably impersonal. What makes us what we are has no regard for us at all. At the very core of the personality, so the modern age holds, vast, anonymous processes are at work. Only through a salutary repression or oblivion of these forces can we achieve the illusion of autonomy. Anonymity is the condition of identity.

It is this bleak doctrine that Modernism will inherit, as a cult of impersonality takes over from the clapped-out Romantic ego. For Romanticism, the self and the infinite merge in the act of imaginative creation. To surrender oneself to dark, unknowable powers is to become all the more uniquely oneself. One must lose one's life in order to find it. For one strain of Modernism, by contrast, the self is displaced by the very forces which constitute it—unhoused, scooped out, decentred and dispossessed. We are no more than the anonymous bearers of myth, tradition, language or literary history. The only way the self can leave its distinctive thumb-print, from Flaubert to Joyce, is in the fastidiously distancing style by which it masks itself. Language itself may be authorless; but style, as Roland Barthes claims in Writing Degree Zero, plunges straight to the visceral depths of the self.

Yes. My sentiments exactly.

The Devil Woman Game

Whenever I attend a pop concert to watch a popular crooner perform their greatest hits, I like nothing better than to play The Devil Woman Game. The rules are rather complicated, but this video should give you the basic idea:

322

That's how many plastic bags were reused by the customers of the Prestwich branch of Tesco last week. Someone had hung a sign up telling us so. Every little helps, they couldn't help adding, without a hint of irony.

I know for a fact that seven of those bags were mine. That's 2.18%.

It seems to me that, at this rate, it's going to take an awful lot of time to save the planet.

Having said that, if and when we do finally save the planet, it seems only fair that 2.18% of it should be mine. That's 11,119,430 km2.

I think I'll have Canada and Bolivia.

Near-death experience

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's out of control!" yelped the elderly, disabled Jewish gentleman on the electric supermarket trolley as it hurtled towards me. In the nick of time, I blocked his path with my own trolley.

It'll be something stupid like that which gets me in the end, you know. Mark my words.

Ilie

Romanian tennis legend Ilie Nastase walked right past me in Liverpool this lunchtime.

No, I know what you're thinking: you're thinking Richard means someone with a vague resemblance to Ilie Nastase walked right past him in Liverpool this lunchtime. But you're wrong; it really was him.

As far as I could tell, nobody else recognised him. Then he looked at me, and we smiled at each other knowingly. It was our little secret.


See also:

Man of principles

BBC: David Davis resigns from Commons

Shadow home secretary David Davis has resigned as an MP.

He is to force a by-election in his Haltemprice and Howden constituency which he will fight on the issue of the new 42-day terror detention limit…

He told reporters outside the Commons: "I will argue in this by-election against the slow strangulation of fundamental British freedoms by this government."

As well as the new 42-day detention limit, Davis also cited CCTV cameras and identity cards as things that are eroding our civil liberties.

An MP with principles. Remember those? Me neither. No doubt Labour will chicken out of standing against him.

Unfortunately, he neglected to mention the smoking ban in his list of assaults on our freedoms.

Meanwhile, in related news…

BBC: No deals on 42 days, says Brown

Prime Minister Gordon Brown has firmly rejected claims he "bought" victory in a Commons vote on terror detention…

Opponents claim Mr Brown swayed the DUP with extra cash for Northern Ireland—but Mr Brown insist they voted on national security grounds.

"There were no deals," Mr Brown told a Downing Street media conference.

I wish I'd been at that press conference. I would like to have asked the following question:

"Tell me, Prime Minister, are you familiar with the phrase pants on fire?"

Dilly-Dellying

Sorry about the lack of updates. I've just spent the whole evening on the Dell™ website, trying to order a new computer. Worst website ever: navigation utterly incomprehensible.

Finally managed to specify the options I want and proceed to the checkout, only to be told that I'm not allowed to give a delivery address other than my home address unless I first register the alternative address with my bank—which is shut. The Dell website helpfully advises me that, if I can't register alternative addresses with my bank, I could temporarily change my home address.

Yeah, like I'm that desperate to give my money to Dell.

Trapped wind

Just thinking: wouldn't Trapped Wind be a great name for a free-form jazz ensemble?

…Or, better still, a greyhound.

(Trapped wind—geddit?)


See also: Nom de chien