You know, I've tried a lot of things: taxidermy, succulents, foraging, vintage boat restoration… You know, those things, they're just not toast.
–Andy Corbett
Bloody hypocrites!
BBC: Theresa May awaits confidence vote result - as Tory MPs cast ballots
Conservative MPs are voting on whether Theresa May should stay as their leader.
You’ll note it’s perfectly acceptable, and not at all undemocratic, for Tory MPs to be asked whether they still agree with their previous vote.
Say three ‘Hail Mary’s and a ‘How’s Your Father’
BBC: Two nuns admit embezzling cash for Vegas gambling trips
Two nuns who worked at a Catholic school in California have admitted embezzling about $500,000 (£396,000) and using it to gamble in Las Vegas. Sisters Mary Kreuper and Lana Chang took the money from St James’ Catholic School in the city of Torrance, near Los Angeles, to spend in casinos.
Let he who is without sin among you cast the first pair of dice.
Punning from the rough
Q: When is a big bottle of booze like a professional golfer?
A: When it’s a litre o’ vino!
(Well, my dad liked it.)
What is this… Korea?
Surely this has to be ILLEGAL!
Don’t remember reading that one on the side of a bus…
BBC: Philip Hammond: Brexit will leave UK economy worse off
All forms of Brexit will make the UK worse off but Theresa May’s plan is the best available, says Philip Hammond.
Me and my naan
Jen and I went out for a curry last night.
I had no idea ‘jalfrezi’ was Bengali for ‘elephant’s nut-sack’.
Tasted all right, though.
Ever get the feeling you’ve been lied to AND cheated?
BBC: Arron Banks faces Brexit referendum spending probe
The National Crime Agency is investigating Arron Banks and his Leave.EU campaign for alleged offences committed at the 2016 EU referendum. Mr Banks and another senior campaign figure, Liz Bilney, were referred to the agency by the Electoral Commission.
One for the Radio 3 crowd…
Apparently, Richard Strauss was taken completely by surprise by the success of Also Sprach Zarathustra: he thought it would only appeal to a Nietzsche audience.
How do you like them apples?
Conversation with Carolyn in my car yesterday:
—Richard, why have you got a cooking apple in your cup-holder?
—It’s not a cooking apple; it’s an eating apple.
—No way! What sort?
—It’s a cox.
—What?! It’s absolutely ENORMOUS! I’ve never seen a cox that big before!
—I don’t think you’re allowed to say that.
—[Howls with laughter] …But, seriously, all the other coxes I’ve ever seen have been absolutely tiny!
—You need to stop this right now!