Dunkirk spirit

One of the many stereotypes that we Brits have of the Germans is that of sun-lounger hoggers. Apparently, when on holiday in sunny climes, they rise hours before dawn to bag all the prime locations around the hotel pool.

As a person who doesn't like lounging about in the sun, I don't see this activity as much of a problem. In fact, it sounds pretty damn sensible to me. But I have often wondered whether the stereotype was true. So, last week, when I found myself staying in a hotel in Tobago that had a number of German guests, I decided to find out.

Fortunately, the verandah outside my room overlooked the hotel's swimming pool. So I rose one morning well before dawn and found myself a good vantage point.

Within minutes, shadowy figures began to emerge from the gloom and stumble their way towards the poolside. Some of them even brought their own sun-longers, which they had presumably stashed in their rooms the night before. Those fiendish Germans! I thought to myself.

But, hold on! As my eyes gradually adjusted to the pre-dawn light, I began to recognise some of these swimming-becostumed early birds. They were British!

A lump came to my throat. Never before had I felt so proud of my countrymen. They weren't going to be beaten by the likes of Herman the German; they were going to beat Fritz at his own game.

But alas! They had fallen into the Germans' devilish trap! The sun-lounger-hogging stereotype was, it turned out, a decoy—a myth spread by the Germans themselves. For, while the British (and one plucky, little Belgian) were preparing to fight them on the beach-towels, in a manoeuvre reminiscent of the Maginot Line débâcle, the Germans had completely circumvented the pool, made an all-out assault on the breakfast room, and commandeered all the sausages.

Ruthless cunning.

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More holiday antics

Overheard in the meal queue at our hotel last week:

Jen: "What soup is it today?"
Woman guest: "Smells like pea."

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Doors to manual

Apparently, airline stewardesses aren't called airline stewardesses any more; they're cabin crew these days. Call me old-fashioned, but it just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Anyway, one of our female cabin crew had a few problems with her announcements as we travelled to Tobago the other week. As our plane was taxiing along the runway, about to take off from London Gatwick, she welcomed us on board Virgin Atlantic Flight VS51 to Grenada. A couple of hundred passengers immediately sat bolt upright and cried, "GRENADA!!!?".

At the other end of the flight, as our plane came to a hault in Grenada Tobago, she made another announcement, which included the following request:

Those of you who require wheelchair assistance, please remain seated.

Call me puerile, but this made stuff come out of my nose.

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He's back

Tobago
Tobago last week.

…Well, when I said I was going on a TIP TOP SECRET assignment, what I actually meant was that I was going on holiday.

But there was a grain of truth in my claim: I did end up in Scarborough (albeit briefly); Scarborough, Tobago, that is. Very nice place. Tobago, that is. I didn't think much of Scarborough.

More photos to follow on Flickr.

Man of Mystery

Shhh! You haven't seen me, right?

I'm going deeply covert on a TIP TOP SECRET assignment for a couple of weeks. If anyone asks, I've gone to Scarborough. If anyone doesn't ask, whatever you do, don't let the cat out of the bag.

Schtum's the word.

Savvy?

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Sixth sense, my arse

BBC: Elephant dash saved tsunami girl
An eight-year-old survivor of the Asian disaster has told how her life was saved by a four-year-old elephant.

Amber Mason, of Milton Keynes, Bucks, was riding Ningnong in the Thai resort of Phuket when the devastating waves struck the beach. As the wave swept in and with water up to his shoulders, Ningnong dashed out of the waves to the top of the beach, carrying Amber to safety.

So, it would appear that not all elephants have a mysterious sixth sense, after all. The tsunami certainly seems to have caught young Ningnong napping.

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Huygens reaches Titan

Titan
The first image from Titan, showing what appears to be a delta emptying into a sea (although, let's face it, I haven't a clue what I'm talking about).

I've heard of the Delta of Venus, but this would appear to be a delta of Titan.

Congratulations to everyone at the European Space Agency and Nasa. Totally fantastic! More please!

It's incredible to think that, not so very long ago, we hadn't even fathomed this new-fangled fire thing.

Not bad for a bunch of souped-up monkeys, when you think about it.