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BBC: Nose 'more complex than jet wing'
Scientists say the way airflow around the nose is more complex than that in a jumbo jet's wing.
The airflow around a brick is also more complex than that in a jumbo jet's wing. In fact, Boeing's engineers spent an awful lot of money making sure that's the case.
See also: Soundbite science
BBC: Did animals have quake warning?
Wildlife officials in Sri Lanka have reported that, despite the loss of human life in the Asian disaster, there have been no recorded animal deaths…
Many tourists drowned but, to the surprise of officials, few dead animals have been found. It has highlighted claims that animals may possess a "sixth sense" about danger.
Yes, and I have a sixth sense about bullshit.
Pit vipers can detect body heat (infra-red radiation) through special pits in the head. That's a sixth sense of sorts (although you could say it's just another form of vision—infra-red radiation being a perfectly normal form of light). Hammerhead sharks can detect the minute electrical impulses of their prey's nervous systems at a (short) distance. That's a sixth sense. But the news item quoted above continues:
Debbie Martyr, who works on a wild tiger conservation programme on the Indonesian island of Sumatra, one of the worst-hit areas in Sunday's disaster, said she was not surprised to hear the animals had avoided the catastrophe.
"Wild animals in particular are extremely sensitive," she said. "They've got extremely good hearing and they will probably have heard this flood coming in the distance.
In other words, this mysterious sixth sense would appear to be, erm, hearing.
And there was I thinking so few tigers had been reported killed because there were so few of them alive in the first place.
Me: I bought a suitcase at the weekend.
Dad: Did you?
Me: I got it in the sales?
Dad: Oh yes?
Me: It's one of those really solid ones.
Dad: That's good.
Me: It has one of those extendable handles at the back.
Dad: …Did you say fruit cake?
No, it wasn't a goal. No, no, no, no, no.
As everyone knows, rule 27, sub-clause 14 of the Rules of Association Football clearly states:
Should the home team at Old Trafford concede the goal within the last 10 minutes of normal play to put them one goal behind, that goal shall be disallowed immediately.
The rules are perfectly clear, you see.
The following advice might be of some use if you are planning a surprise meal (namely Chick Pea Curry and Tuna Curry) for your partner:
Et voila!
This morning, I crept downstairs and discovered that Santa had left me a cliché for Christmas.
It was exactly what I'd been dreaming of.
Perfect.
Merry Christmas.
Today saw my seventeenth annual Christmas Eve ascent of Moel Famau in North Wales. This time, I was accompanied by my favourite scarlethead, the delightfully fragrant Stense.
Hitchin, if you're reading this, remember how back in 1986 I told you that I had seen a raven flying upside-down while grunting like a pig (the raven, that is)? Remember how you told me to stop being silly? Well, while I was on top of the hill this morning, I saw a couple more ravens doing exactly the same thing—and this time I had a witness. I hope you're not going to call Stense a liar too. That would make her a fragrant liar.
See also:
BBC: Contraceptive pill advert pulled
An advert for a contraceptive pill has been withdrawn after Catholics and other groups complained to the advertising watchdog. The poster for morning-after pill Levonelle One Step used the phrase "immaculate contraception"…The ASA upheld the complaints, including from the National Association of Catholic Families and the Catholic Truth Society, saying that the headline was "likely to cause serious or widespread offence".
I can't help feeling that these people seriously need to re-examine their sense of moral outrage. I mean, which is more offensive:
Bonkers, in both senses of the word.
See also: Letter to His Holiness the Pope (Julian Date)
Sir,
Putting aside the questionable reliability of IQ tests as a measure of intelligence ("Smoking is bad for your brain", New Scientist, 11-Dec-04), and ignoring the reverse cause-effect argument that less intelligent people are more likely to take up smoking in the first place (and less likely to give it up afterwards), has anyone considered the impact of a smoking-induced 1% loss in intelligence on the 64-year-olds in question? By my back-of-a-fag-packet calculation, I reckon this gives them the same mental age as young whippersnappers of 63 years and four months.
Don't forget the aluminium foil.