Bad Blair Day

BBC: Blair's make-up bill tops £1,800

Prime Minister Tony Blair has spent more than £1,800 of taxpayers' money on cosmetics and make-up artists since coming into office, it has emerged. Between 1999 and 2005 Downing Street paid £1,050.22 for cosmetics for Mr Blair's media appearances. Another £791.20 was spent over the past two years on make-up artists.

Is this a total non-story or what?

It is an established fact that anyone who goes on telly without wearing make-up looks like a total dog's breakfast. Yes, even Natalie Imbrulgia and Elizabeth Hurley. I don't want our Prime Minister to look like a dog's breakfast; I want him to look smart and be the part.

Did the British taxpayers moan about all that mascara they had to buy for Clement Attlee? They did not. Did they complain about having to stump up for Lloyd George's rouge? Not a murmur. Did they grumble about Thatcher the Milk-Snatcher's grouting subsidy? No way, Pedro.

I call £1,050 over six years a total bargain. That's only £175 per year. We probably pay for Tony's haircuts too. I don't care: the Prime Minister is a busy man—he has terrorists to distinguish between, Faith Schools to defend, and civil liberties to infringe—he doesn't have time to nip down the barber's for a bit off the sides. Mind you, he could save a few more precious minutes if he stopped desecrating his face each morning and grew a beard. A No. 1½ trim once a fortnight is all you need to keep a beard in perfect shape, Prime Minister.

Hey, yeah, there's a point: when did we last have a Prime Minister who sported a beard?

Apart from Thatcher, I mean.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. A-ha! Somebody gets the reference: my Latin teacher (hell of a good blokeIrish Mick and I found ourselves sitting next to him in a pub a few years back) was named after the Pythonesque hedgehog on account of his beard (which looked like a hedgehog).

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