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BBC: Bernanke demands bail-out action
US Federal Reserve chief Ben Bernanke has urged politicians to "act quickly" to support the proposed $700bn (£378bn) bail-out of the financial markets.
Disclaimer: Interest rates can go up as well as down. Your financial institution is at risk if you loan money to people who can't afford to pay it back. You will be charged £50 for the processing of this advice.
The following phrases led visitors to Gruts from assorted search engines recently:
To all of my new visitors, I trust you didn't find what you were looking for. The really disturbing thought, however, is that maybe you did.
Observer: Acupuncture 'helps women have babies'
"Hello, can I book a table for two for 7pm this evening please? Preferably over in the corner next to the loud-speakers."
Short poem inspired by the view towards Pen-y-Ghent from the B6479 between Selside and Ribblehead, 17th September, 2008:
Drumlins
Basket-of-eggs topography
Is something we did in geography.
I hear the Poet Laureate job is up for grabs in 2009. Don't want Cope and Armitage to think it's a two-horse race.
See also: More of my songs and poems
BBC: Sir Cliff fails to top UK charts
Sir Cliff Richard has failed to top the UK Top 40 single charts with Thank You For a Lifetime, which debuted at number three instead.
Had it reached the top spot, it would have given the 67-year-old a number one single across six consecutive decades.
The real hoot is that the rather prim Sir Cliff was pipped to the post by a tracks called Sex On Fire (by The Kings of Leon—great band) and I Kissed a Girl by a young lady who is presumably on the bus to Hebden Bridge.
If Sir Cliff really is that desperate for a Twenty-First Century number one, he could do far worse that re-release his all-time classic, Devil Woman.
BBC: Saudi judge condemns 'immoral TV'
The most senior judge in Saudi Arabia has said it is permissible to kill the owners of satellite TV channels which broadcast immoral programmes.
It's great to see our Western liberal values beginning to rub off on our allies in The War Against Terrorism.
(Yikes! Did I say rub off? No offence intended.)
This is exactly the sort of thing they invented the internet for:
Sign spotted on the back of a van carrying golf clubs today:
How's Your Driving?