Ivor Cutler (1923-2006)

Sad news:

BBC: Cult poet Ivor Cutler dies at 83

For those of you who have never consulted the FAQ and who wondered how the Gruts website came to be so called, it was named after a poem by Ivor Cutler. He was a very funny man. Nobody could shout the word Canada! in such a restrained manner.

Ivor Cutler
Ivor Cutler.

Fitz and I went to see him perform live in Manchester many years ago. Imagine my delight when, after taking off his rucksack and duffel coat, walking up to the microphone, and throwing the audience into hysterical laughter simply by saying the word "Hello", Ivor chose to begin his concert with the immortal words, "Hello, Billy, teatime! Gruts for tea!"

(The Irish Republican Army was apparently less impressed with the performance: a week later, it blew up the theatre and a large chunk of Manchester City centre. Ivor was unharmed.)

Last month, by way of a (very) late birthday present, the ever-thoughtful Stense presented me with a DVD of Ivor's final concert: Cutler's Last Stand. I'm glad I haven't played it yet. This weekend, I will watch it curled up in front of a roaring fire in my English sitting room, and toast the old genius with a glass or two of finest Scotch whisky. I hope he would have approved.

Night Owl on the dawn shift

From Nature Cure by Richard Mabey (p.135):

The tawny owl's generic name is Sirix, Latin for witch, and there are stories of the Church burning owls for witchcraft in the Middle Ages…

The above quote is taken from the final paragraph I read over breakfast this morning before I put on my coat and went to get the car out of the garage. As I stepped out of the door, a tawny owl flew across my path and headed off down the hill. I have heard it hooting for the last week or so, but this was the very first time I have seen a tawny owl in my garden.

Coincidence?

I think you'll find it was.

Woot!

BBC: Giant wind farm plan thrown out

Plans to create England's largest wind farm in Cumbria have been rejected by the government.

The £55m development would have seen 27 turbines, each 377ft tall, erected at Whinash, near Kendal.

Derivative

BBC: Da Vinci Code 'copied book ideas'

A claim that Dan Brown's bestselling novel The Da Vinci Code copied the ideas of two other authors has gone before London's High Court.

Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh say Mr Brown stole "the whole architecture" of research that went into their 1982 book The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail.

I have read both of the books in question, and didn't particularly enjoy either. Actually, no, that's not true: I never managed to finish The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail because it was a pile of specious bullshit masquarading as historical research, and it irritated the pants off me. Pseudohistory annoys me as much as pseudoscience, and that's saying something.

I have to say, Baigent and Leigh's book crossed my mind on numerous occasions as I read The Da Vinci Code last year. Dan Brown had clearly read their silly book, but at least he has the decency to admit that his derivative was a work of pure fiction. I hope he wins his case.

Postscript: He did.

Blisters

One of the good things about having saucepans with metal handles is that you can reheat food in them simply by placing them in your Aga oven, rather than having to faff around stirring them on the hotplate.

One of the bad things about having saucepans with metal handles is that, when you take them out of your Aga oven, they look exactly the same as if you had faffed around with them on the hotplate, so you think nothing of picking them up by the handle.

That's three times this week.

Swing low

BBC: Scots can upset England - Nicol

Former captain Andy Nicol believes Scotland have their best opportunity to beat England since he led the Scots to victory at Murrayfield in 2000.

"It is the first time for a while that Scotland have a reasonable chance of an upset," he told BBC Sport.

Let's hope not:

Test message to Stense this morning:

Stense, I propose a bet: me (England) v you (Scotland) in rugby Saturday. Loser buys £5 joint lottery ticket when she's not too busy. Do we have a bet? Ri xx

Stense's reply:

It's a deal!

The words candy and baby spring to mind.

I have absolutely no honour.

Postscript (25-Feb-2006): Oh shut up! All I can say is that it's a bloody good job I didn't proposition Stense with my original idea for a wager, otherwise you would now be looking at frankly saucy photographs of yours truly. And I wouldn't wish that ordeal on the smuggest of jammy Scots.

Dis Irving

BBC: Holocaust denier Irving is jailed

British historian David Irving has been found guilty in Vienna of denying the Holocaust of European Jewry and sentenced to three years in prison.

No he hasn't. It never happened.

Published
Filed under: Nonsense