This morning, I overtook a concrete lorry manufactured by a company named Cemen Tech.
They really need to work on their branding.
Million-pound idea
I think I might finally have come up with a million-pound idea. Jen’s not so sure, but what the hell would she know? I’m putting it out here so nobody can come along later and patent the damn thing…
Bacon-scented perfume!
Is this a sure-fire winner, or what? The whole point of perfume is to smell nice. Everyone in their right mind loves the smell of bacon. Slap on a label with a suspiciously French-looking name with a bunch of unnecessary punctuation marks… Eau de porc. Maison du l’ard. Baçôn de Paris. Bob’s your uncle.
Think I’ll order the Aston Martin right now.
Absolutely no conflict of interest, here…
You can say what you like about outgoing bus-liar Boris Johnson, but he could never be accused of taking ‘levelling up’ seriously.
Shits desert sinking rat
BBC: Rishi Sunak and Sajid Javid quit Boris Johnson’s cabinet
The chancellor and health secretary have resigned from government, saying they no longer have confidence in Boris Johnson to lead the country.
TOTALLY RUBBISH DISGUISE!
Blimey, they’re old!
Ring pull
Yesterday was Jen’s and my 30th anniversary as a couple. To mark the occasion, we popped down the local Register Office to sign up for one of those newfangled civil partnership thingies.
…And they say I don’t know how to play the long game!
Slowly getting my head round Photoshop
Undisclosed sum
So, that’s the end of that for the nonce.
Phew! I’m very relieved. With Prince Andrew’s popularity soaring once again, now would seem the perfect time to scoop all the dripping out of our commemorative black and white Fergie & Andy wedding mug and put it on eBay. Much like our Royal Family, it’s somehow managed to survive all these years with only a couple of chips.
Me…?
Me…?
The First Lord of the Treasury…?
Here, in this place…?
At an illicit party…?
With unelected bureaucrats…?
With my reputation…?
(......BINGO!)