Synthetic hip

Listening to a music podcast recently, I was frankly astonished to learn that there is a music genre called dubstep. How the hell did that one pass me by? I just can't keep up.

Frankly, I think all these new music genres are getting out-of-hand. I could never understand why R&B nowadays contains hints of neither rhythm nor blues, nor why drum and bass briefly became the in-thing in the 1990s, when the Fall had been doing little else since 1976 (and long may they continue to do so!).

Anyway, be that as it may, it seems to me that naming a music genre dubstep really is scraping the barrel. Have all the good names gone? So, I've been giving it some thought, and have come up with my own list of brand-new music genres. Please feel free to take your pick and start trying to market it, as if it's something exciting and new. More »

Newspaper hack

Let it not be said that all soccer players are a bunch of ignorant buffoons. This from the increasingly erudite Wayne Rooney on Twitter earlier this week:

Clear, concise, and almost grammatically correct.

Well done, Wayne. 7/10.

When analogies go pear-shaped

Guardian: AV referendum: The weapon of choice

… But the no campaign's claim that A[lternative] V[ote] gives some voters two votes, also made by former foreign secretaries led by Douglas Hurd, is equally absurd. As Jo Swinson, Liberal Democrat MP for East Dunbartonshire, said on last week's Question Time, if I ask you to buy me a Mars but a Mars is not available and I suggest you buy a Twix instead, I will not receive two bars of chocolate.

Erm… Actually, if you receive a Twix™, I think you'll find that you do indeed end up with two bars of chocolate.

Me? I'll be voting yes. I can't stand those new, female-friendly Mars™ bars. They're little more than Milky Ways™. They would never have happened if our voting system was not fundamentally undemocratic.

Meanwhile, in sports news…

Hebden Bridge Times:

Class told despite improved performance

JACKS scored the first goal but Jammies ran away with 21 - 8 in the latest matches in the Todmorden Netball League.

But it was still a much improved performance from Jacks, although Jammies went into the second half leading 7-3.

Jacks are unreconisable from the team struggling for form over the last few weeks with fluid enthusiastic play.

Jammies class told in the end but Jacks made them work for every goal.

Terriers pipped Giants 15 - 12. Giants had some good defensive play but Terriers kept their cool and edged it in the last few minutes.

Both teams defended and shot well with the game going from end to end.

Bad passing let Lions down as Borough Bears beat them 19 - 12.

Bears were back to their starting seven and their passing was a lot tighter around the semi circle.

Lions came back in the second half but Bears were too strong. Pink Panthers went down 20 - 10 to Rangers in a fast paced match.

Windies had no game.

No, me neither.

In the pub last night…

Jen's mum: It's census day tomorrow.
Me: I know. I'll be voting Atheist.
Jen's mum: I wonder what you're supposed to do if you're on holiday on census day.
Me: You have to take leave of your census.

(I'm here all week, folks!)

Lotus Flower

Hey, kids, for those of you who couldn't be bothered to download the new Radiohead album when it came out the other week, it's in the shops from tomorrow. As with all things Radiohead, it gets an official Gruts 5-star rating. Very good indeed. Here's a sampler.

Believe it or not, I dance just like Thom Yorke in this video. Seriously. I suspect he's been watching my moves. Although I think it's fair to say that I have a better sense of rhythm.

(No, I won't be posting a YouTube video. I have to draw the line somewhere, you know.)