Fowl criminal

Hebden Bridge Times: Leeds man smuggled £6.5m of drugs in frozen chickens

Apparently, his friends suggested he go cold turkey, but he got the wrong end of the stick entirely.

Vote for me!

OK, Gruts Gang, its time to make yourselves useful [too late: didn't win].

The Hebden Bridge Times and Todmorden News are running a ridiculously complicated photography competition. I have entered, and my photo has made the semi-finals. There are 13 photos in the semi-finals (I told you it was ridiculously complicated). To make the final six (no, really), my photo needs your votes.

Now, here comes the really complicated part. You can vote in several ways, and you are allowed to vote in more ways than one. So, what I need you to do is to go here, then do AS MANY OF THE FOLLOWING as possible (depending on which of the following you have access to):

  • click the Facebook Like button alongside the article
  • click the Twitter button to share the article
  • click the G+ button alongside the article to share on Google+
  • click the LinkedIn button alongside the article
  • leave a COMMENT (or several comments!) against the article
  • (most importantly) ask all your friends to do the same

…then, if you're feeling really bored, you can try to do the same on this page.

The voting closes as midday on 1st December, 2014.

I have been assured—and you will no doubt be relieved to hear—that there will be no swimming costume round.

Oh, just in case you're wondering what my photo looks like, here it is:

Mitchell Brothers Mill

Mitchell Brothers Mill and some buttercups this summer.

Tell us something we don't know

This morning, the Times newspaper reportedly declared Hebden Bridge to be the 'coolest place' in which to live in Britain.

Murdoch must be getting desperate: he's nicking my editorials now.

Before you ask...

No, I'm not:

Meanwhile, in sports news...

Hebden Bridge Times:

Class told despite improved performance

JACKS scored the first goal but Jammies ran away with 21 - 8 in the latest matches in the Todmorden Netball League.

But it was still a much improved performance from Jacks, although Jammies went into the second half leading 7-3.

Jacks are unreconisable from the team struggling for form over the last few weeks with fluid enthusiastic play.

Jammies class told in the end but Jacks made them work for every goal.

Terriers pipped Giants 15 - 12. Giants had some good defensive play but Terriers kept their cool and edged it in the last few minutes.

Both teams defended and shot well with the game going from end to end.

Bad passing let Lions down as Borough Bears beat them 19 - 12.

Bears were back to their starting seven and their passing was a lot tighter around the semi circle.

Lions came back in the second half but Bears were too strong. Pink Panthers went down 20 - 10 to Rangers in a fast paced match.

Windies had no game.

No, me neither.

Meanwhile, in local news...

From this week's Hebden Bridge Times (the only newspaper of record):

Best goat for the 2nd year running

WINNING best in show - and best milker - in Todmorden Agricultural Show's goat section for the second year running, this year's event proved a very successful one for a teenager.

Michsica Capricole, owned and bred by 15 year old Jessica Hagain of Halifax, once again, defeated the competition.

Best Goatling was Philday Darcy owned and bred by Mr R Parkin of Howden, and Best Kid was Maxson Shamuti owned and bred by Mrs M Hagain of Halifax.

GOAT SECTION RESULTS

Saanen milkers: 1, Philday Foxiqwif - Mr R Parkin, Howden, East Yorkshire; 2, Philday Fabergone - Mr R Parkin. British Saanen milkers: 1, Philday Dressage - Mr R Parkin; 2, Wadehouse Jasmine - Mrs C Luty, Shelf, Halifax; 3, Philday Lidierlust - Mr R Parkin; 4, Micean June - M M Boocock. Shelf, Halifax.

Anglo Nubian milkers: 1, Morphie Rigmarole - Mrs L Maughan, Hamsterley, Co. Durham; 2, Kaprikel Kurdus - Mrs L Maughan; 3, Poplartime Fanella - Mrs L Maughan.

Any other variety milkers: 1, Michsica Capricole - Miss J Hagain, Hipperholme, Halifax; 2, Michsica Capriclair - Miss J Hagain.

British Toggenburg goatling: 1, Philday Statusfour - Mr R Parkin; 2, Philday Statusthree - Mr R Parkin.

Saanen goatling: 1, Philday Follyeva - Mr R Parkin. British Saanen goatling: 1, Philday Darcy -Mr R Parkin; 2, Wadehouse Lilly - Mrs C Luty; 3, Micean June - Mr M Boocock. Anglo Nubian goatling: 1, Trago Roona - Mrs L Maughan. British Alpine goatlinng: 1, Hunningley Esme.

Saanen kid: 1, Michsica Talulah - Miss J Hagain. British Saanen kid: 1, Michsica Bethany - Miss J Hagain. Anglo-Nubian kid: 1, Tragomarly Maisie - Miss C Maughan, Hamsterley, Co. Durham; 2, Trago Idhaya - Mrs L Maughan; 3, Tragomarly Mungo - Miss L Maughan. British Alpine kid: 1, Hunningley Fantasia. Any other variety kid: 1, Maxson Shamuti - Mrs M Hagain, Hipperholme, Halifax.

Further reports and pictures from Todmorden Agricultural Show will be published next week.

Unfortunate headline of the week