BBC (front page): Prince Harry and Meghan Markle choose cake
BBC (02-Dec-2015): Prince Harry speaks out against wildlife slaughter
Prince Harry speaks of his frustration at the slaughter of elephants and rhinos, as photographs documenting his conservation work in Africa are released.
Guardian (31-Oct-2007): Prince Harry quizzed by police about shooting of rare birds
Prince Harry and a close friend have been interviewed by police after two rare and legally protected birds of prey were killed on the royal family's Sandringham estate in Norfolk last week… Sources have told the Guardian that the prince and his friend were the only people known to be out shooting on the estate last Wednesday evening, and were quickly identified to Norfolk police by the Prince of Wales's staff. It is understood both men were interviewed in person, but have denied any involvement in the incident.
Yes, that should sort things out for a while.
BBC: Prince Harry in Brazil: I can't find love, says royal
Prince Harry has admitted he sometimes wishes he was "normal" and suggested his royal role can put women off.
I heard it on the radio first: John Terry has been stripped of the England captaincy by Capello!
Yes, that's right: someone I had never heard of had been removed as 'England captain' by someone else I had never heard of for bending one into the ex-girlfriend of a team-mate.
For those of you as baffled as I was, John Terry, it turns out, is—or, rather, was—the England Men's Soccer team captain. In other words, an overpaid, coiffured softie who can kick a ball. Apparently, captain is official BBC short-hand for men's soccer captain.
Meanwhile, in real sports news, the 2010 Six Nations Championship opens today.
(That would be men's rugby union, for the totally clueless.)
Prince Charles has spoken of his "great relief" at the safe return of his son Harry, after 10 weeks with his regiment on the frontline in Afghanistan.
Wonder if any of our rare harriers have been downed in Helmand Province recently. Cherchez le prince!
That's how I will be referring to the third in line to the throne from now on.
What a total wanker.
It's inherited through the Y chromosome, apparently.
Clarificatory postscript: The nasty little ginger shit should not be confused with the song Holding Back the Years by Simply Red. The latter is a nasty little ginger's hit.