Phil Collins ‘no longer retired’.
Nonsense
Memory bank
Things my bank expects me to remember when using their machines/online banking facilities.
Payne and illness
Hundreds of disappointed fans are "left weeping" after One Direction cancel a Belfast concert.
What do you reckon is going on here, then?
Knob-shaped show-scrub sachet shock!
Small om
They say you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. It turns out I can't make an omelette full-stop.
Compare & contrast
Thom Yorke v. Tollund Man.
Life imitates Gruts
I saw this coming. Oh yes I did!
19A:
Crossword clue proves to be spectacularly difficult.
Forward planning
Some chap in front of me in the queue at Sainsbury's today bought £190-worth of Budweiser and a packet of paracetamol.
Paul redux
My nutty former school-mate is currently appearing in BBC2's ‘Special Forces: Ultimate Hell Week’.