Art concept

For some years now, I’ve harboured an artistic concept for a piece of Concept Art (capital C, capital A):

As you might know, the Mid-Atlantic Ridge, which marks the boundary of the Eurasian and North American geological plates, runs through the middle of Iceland. It looks like this:

As you might also know, the Mid-Atlantic Ridge is gradually spreading at a rate of about one inch per year as the Atlantic Ocean widens.

It occurs to me some enterprising Artiste Conceptuel might construct an artwork on either side of this ever-widening divide. I have in mind a pair of massive sculptures of human hands, between which would be suspended a humongous Christmas cracker. As the two geological plates continued to move in opposite directions, the Christmas cracker would, over years and perhaps decades, become increasingly taut, and, at some point, would suddenly split in two with a loud CRACK!, just like a real Christmas cracker, to eject a humongous plastic novelty, an enormous paper hat, and a large parchment scroll bearing a dreadful joke.

The only thing I’m not sure about is what on earth to call this marvellous installation. The Rift That Keeps On Giving, perhaps.

Would you rather be hit by a bus or a lorry?

In the unlikely event you’re struggling to remember…

Guardian: What Vote Leave leaders really said about no-deal Brexit

Brexit liar ‘Boris’ Johnson is clearly aiming for the no-deal Brexit we were told would never happen.

And when, as is entirely possible, he fails to get his no-deal Brexit through parliament, he will not call a second referendum to seek support from the UK public—because he will almost certainly not get it. Instead, he will call a General Election, when we will be presented with a stark choice between a no-deal Brexit and Jeremy Corbyn as Prime Minister.

‘Boris’ Johnson might well be a lying, philandering oaf, but he is no idiot.