Lateral thinking

I've just had a totally brilliant idea…

Why doesn't the UK stay in the EU, and leave the European Song Contest instead? That way, we get to make some sort of stupid nationalist point without actually doing something totally bloody insane.

You can thank me later.

End of an era

BBC: Old £10 note to disappear next year
If you still have any old £10 notes, make sure you spend them before 1 March next year.
The Bank of England has announced that the old paper notes, featuring naturalist Charles Darwin, will no longer be legal tender after that date.

So, the Darwin tenner will become extinct next March. It had a good run, and was superior in all respects to the Jane Austen note that's replacing it.

Jen's brother almost hit the nail on the head the other week. He complained that the newfangled plastic notes can't be folded properly to slip into his pocket. Being plastic, they keep trying to unfold.

Close, but no banana.

The real reason the new plastic notes are so dreadful is that they frequently won't slip nicely into your wallet because some animal without fully opposable thumbs has tried to fold it to slip inside their walletless pocket.

So, everyone loses.

Vive l’empire!

Things are going to be so much better when we (finally) ditch the so-called ‘EU’ and start dealing with our former colonies:

BBC: Commonwealth Games 2022: Birmingham only bidder for event
Birmingham was the only city to submit a bid to host the 2022 Commonwealth Games before Saturday's deadline, the Commonwealth Games Federation says. Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, Victoria in Canada and a potential Australian entry had been thought to be possible bidders but none came forward.