Gruts is having a bit of a facelift

As you might have noticed, the Gruts website is looking slightly different. I’ve given it a modern single-column look. This will make it more suitable for all those cool kids who do their World-Wide-Web-surfing on their mobile telephones and iTablets.

I’ll also be making some changes behind the scenes over the next few days, so things might be a bit disorganised and ropey for a while.

(More disorganised and ropey than usual, I mean.)

Guacamole rigmarole!

I’m not dead.

I visited hospital for a quick in-and-out operation yesterday. Well, more of a quick pop-it-back-in operation. After waiting more that a decade in the vain hope it might magically sort itself out, I finally got round to having my hernia fixed.

In the pre-op interview, the anaesthetist asked if I was allergic to anything:

—Don’t worry, I don't think we’re likely to encounter any of those in the operating theatre.
—Not if your CAT scanner is working.
—Blimey, that was quick! she laughed.

I didn’t like to admit I’d been waiting over 11 years to repeat my legendary CAT-scanner joke.

—Any other allergies?
Avocados: I’ve not heard that one before! How does the allergy manifest itself?
—You really don’t want to know.
—I see. Not to worry, I won’t be administering any intravenous guacamole.

Still, we thought we’d better play it safe:

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!! Nice one, chancellor!

Guardian: UK will build own satellite system if frozen out of EU's Galileo – chancellor

The chancellor, Philip Hammond, has warned that the UK will build its own satellite navigation system to rival the European Union’s €10bn Galileo project if Brussels carries out its threat to block access.