Gruts

🦆

His best shot

Somebody up there Whom I don’t believe in took His best shot with a lightning bolt yesterday.

He was wide of the mark by a good 20 metres, but managed to take out a nearby telegraph pole. The ensuing electrical surge fried our landline, hub, data bridge, and expensive laser printer. Somewhat miraculously, our even more expensive iMac computer and stupidly expensive hi-fi system, which are also connected to our local area network, survived the ordeal unscathed.

I wish I could say the same for my underpants.

I’m confused…

I thought it was the EU that was supposed to be ‘undemocratic’…

BBC: Supreme Court: Suspending Parliament was unlawful, judges rule

Boris Johnson's decision to suspend Parliament was unlawful, the Supreme Court has ruled.
Mr Johnson suspended—or prorogued—Parliament for five weeks earlier this month, but the court said it was wrong to stop MPs carrying out duties in the run-up to Brexit on 31 October.
Supreme Court president Lady Hale said "the effect on the fundamentals of democracy was extreme."

If that oaf ‘Boris’ Johnson a shred of honour (which clearly he doesn’t), he’d be stepping down to spend more time with whichever poor woman he’s shacked up with this week.

Senior moment

In the latest of my increasingly common ‘senior moments’, I just opened a carton of grapefruit juice and poured its contents over my cereal.

I think that must be what they refer to as a ‘continental breakfast’. (The only valid argument I’ve heard so far in favour of Brexit.)

The Boss turns 70

To mark the 70th birthday of Bruce Springsteen, who was born in the USA on this day in 1949, a timely reminder of the time I duetted with him (sort of) at a packed Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, way back in 2008.

Happy birthday, Boss!

Frank Key

I was sad to learn of the death last week of my online acquaintance and occasional correspondent Frank Key, the absurdist genius behind the clotted nonsense that was hootingyard.org.

Among the phenomenal amount of nonsense Frank put out there, he was aware that my personal favourite was a piece about a rose garden, which he once read out on his Resonance FM radio show.

See also: My review of Frank’s medium opus, Mr Key’s Shorter Potted Brief, Brief Lives.

Got this covered

BBC: Brexit: Operation Yellowhammer no-deal document published

Riots on the streets, food price rises and reduced medical supplies are real risks of the UK leaving the EU without a deal, a government document has said.

I’ll freely admit I've been concerned the government, in its insane rush to implement any form of Brexit, had been completely ignoring the risks of a no-deal. But now I read they had an entire six-page report assessing the risks. The BBC doesn’t say whether the report is single- or double-spaced, but, either way, six pages… Wow!

Looks as if they’ve got this covered after all. (Assuming they’ve read the report and taken appropriate action, obviously.)

You can get cheapo Chinese knock-off vintage games consoles with hundreds of games on them these days, but, after playing them for five minutes, you realise all the old games were shite.

Serendipditty

It always amuses me to see Pam Ayres filed (correctly, alphabetically) next to W.H. Auden in the poetry sections of bookshops.