Top Fly Guy

Those of you travelling on the Italian private airline Air One this month might like to check out their excellent in-flight magazine, Top Fly. On page 14, there's what I assume is a riveting article in Italian about Tiger Woods. The article is accompanied by a photograph taken by yours truly at the Open this year:

Top Fly October 2006 front cover Top Fly October 2006 p 14

OK, so it isn't exactly National Geographic, but what the heck? In lieu of my usual fee, the magazine is making a small donantion to Amnesty International.

WMD

BBC: Israel admits phosphorous bombing

Israel has for the first time admitted it used controversial phosphorous bombs during fighting against Hezbollah in Lebanon in July and August.

That's chemical weapons to you and me.

You might remember that Saddam Hussein is currently on trial for, amongst other things, using those sorts of weapons. But Saddam, of course, is an evil war-monger, whereas Israel is participating in a war on terrorism.

So that's all right, then.

Dream

I had a dream last night in which I wondered to myself, "Why do we say disinterred, rather than unburied?"

Now I'm even thinking up this shit in my sleep!

Banana

For reasons I won't bore you with, yesterday, I arranged to meet Carolyn outside Asda at 4:30pm to hand over a pink rucksack with fairies on it.

At 4:40pm, I rang her to find out where the hell she was. It turned out she believed we'd agreed to meet at her mum's house, from where she would give me a lift to Asda. I have absolutely no idea why she might have thought this, but I didn't press the point. She said she'd meet me outside Asda in ten minutes.

Fifteen minutes later, I phoned her to find out where the hell she was.

"I'm inside Asda," she said. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the door, just like we agreed, standing around, looking like a complete lemon."

"Well, I'm in here, standing around, looking like a complete banana."

Semantics

When you think about it, a B.Sc. is pretty much the same as a B.A., which is pretty much the same as a Ph.D.

It's just a matter of degrees.

Impeccable logic

From an Instant Messaging conversation with Carolyn last Sunday:

R: … Hey, look what I'm sitting in front of.

C: I thought that photo of you was behind fish-net stockings!

R: What would I be doing with fish-net stockings? (Don't answer that!)

Jen and I went for a nice walk to a graveyard today. We found the grave of someone who used to live at our house! It had the name of the house on the gravestone (spelt wrong!). How spooky is that?

C: How do you definitely know it was your house if it was spelt wrong?

You've got to hand it to Carolyn: her logic is absolutely impeccable.

… I can't believe I just wrote that!