Norse trading

While England slept, Norway was exporting record amounts of seafood last month:

The Norway Post: Record seafood export in October
The value of Norwegian seafood exports in October totalled NOK 7.3 billion, the highest ever for a single month, according to the latest figures from the Norwegian Seafood Council.

It's all down to their burgeoning salmon, mackerel and fjord trout trade, apparently.

Don't look for this story in any of the UK-based newspapers. They don't like success stories—especially Norwegian success stories. They would rather fob you off with tat about invading Romanian hordes, Miley Cyrus (no, me neither) smoking a suspicious-looking fag, and the Duchess of Cambridge's hair at a Remembrance Day parade. OK, when I say they, I mean the Daily Mail.

Far be it from me to give Gruts's competitors free advice, but the Mail is missing a trick, here: Norway is not an EU member, you see—so of course business is booming! If the Mail had reported this story, they could have ranted about the shameful state of the British seafood trade, no doubt blaming it on the Spanish for sneaking into our fjords under cover of dark and making off with all our trout. As it's the Spanish, they could even have referred to it as an armada (do you see what they could have done, there?). It's damned unprofessional, if you ask me. The Mail is letting down its core readership.

Me? I'm delighted for the Norwegians. They're a good bunch. They never seem to kick up a fuss; they just mind their own business, catching their trout and selling it to the Russians and Belarusians.

Go, Norway!

Norwegian flag

Dolphin, fish, bird!

Jen and I were on holiday in Anglesey the week before last. There's a selection of photos here, if you're even vaguely interested (or even if you're not).

Long-term Gruts readers will no doubt recall that, two years ago, fresh back from another holiday in Anglesey, I delighted them with a photograph of a heron being startled by a dolphin. How could Richard possibly top that, I hear you ask.

Oh ye of little faith! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Dolphin, fish, bird!

Dolphin, fish, bird!

It's a gift.

Fresh guts

For reasons I don't need to go into, earlier this week I found myself watching this American gentleman's video on how to fellate a fish:

…actually, perhaps I do need to go into it.

There were some wild sea bass on sale in Tesco, so I bought one. But I rather stupidly forgot to ask the Tesco fishmonger to remove the guts. So, never having done so before, I found myself having to consult YouTube on how to scale and gut a fish. Having seen how to do it properly, I ended up inventing my own way.

Now that I have gone through the process of gutting one, I have finally worked out what it is that I most like about fish:

Their outsides.