Would you rather be hit by a bus or a lorry?

In the unlikely event you’re struggling to remember…

Guardian: What Vote Leave leaders really said about no-deal Brexit

Brexit liar ‘Boris’ Johnson is clearly aiming for the no-deal Brexit we were told would never happen.

And when, as is entirely possible, he fails to get his no-deal Brexit through parliament, he will not call a second referendum to seek support from the UK public—because he will almost certainly not get it. Instead, he will call a General Election, when we will be presented with a stark choice between a no-deal Brexit and Jeremy Corbyn as Prime Minister.

‘Boris’ Johnson might well be a lying, philandering oaf, but he is no idiot.

Distinguishing the perilous adventure of selfhood

Terry Eagleton writing in the latest edition of The London Review of Books:

Kierkegaard is careful to distinguish the perilous adventure of selfhood from whimsical self-fashioning, in which the self, intoxicated by endless possibility, reinvents itself experimentally from moment to moment, shucking off responsibility for the past and surrendering to the aesthetic allure of the moment. It is a striking prevision of postmodernism. When Kierkegaard speaks of dread or anxiety, he has in mind this prospect of pure, empty possibility, which lurks at the heart of one’s experience like some bottomless abyss.

This is precisely the sort of paragraph I aspire never to write.

The morning after

Congratulations to ‘Boris’ Johnson on so quickly overtaking Theresa May as the UK’s worst Prime Minister since David Cameron.

It serves us fucking right

So, Alexander ‘Boris’ ‘Brexit-liar’ de Pfeffel Johnson is to become our next Prime Minister.

It’s time to rally round! It’s time for Tory MPs to stop their vicious in-fighting and show Johnson the same level of loyalty that he showed his two predecessors.

Fucking redacted

Compare and contrast:

BBC News: Boris Johnson: Police ‘called to Tory leadership contender’s home’
Mr Johnson was refusing to leave the flat and telling the woman to “get off” his laptop before there was a loud crashing noise.

Guardian: Boris Johnson: police called to loud altercation at potential PM’s home
Johnson can be heard refusing to leave the flat and telling Symonds to “get off my fucking laptop” before there is a loud crashing noise.

For some reason, the BBC chose not to quote Brexit liar Johnson using the aggressive word ‘fucking’ during an apparently violent domestic incident. It’s almost as if they’re trying to whitewash what he was recorded saying. When altercating with a partner, “Get off my fucking laptop” is in an entirely different league to “Get off my laptop”—especially when followed by ‘a loud crashing noise’.

For the record, ‘Boris’ Johnson is an fucking turd. But he’s precisely the sort of fucking turd you deserve to end up with as Prime Minister when you no longer care about the truth, or how people behave or speak. Which the UK public clearly no longer does.

If you voted Brexit, the oaf Johnson is exactly what you voted for.

He serves us fucking right.

Dick heads

Compare and contrast:

Dick heads
Six Selfies by Yours Truly
‘Emotional Field 2’ by Jo Pearl
Emotional Field 2 by Jo Pearl

Be honest, now: you always knew my head would end up on a spike some day. (On the plus side, this does finally confirm my face to be a work of art.)

The above piece is part of artist Jo Pearl’s installation of ceramic heads expressing the six emotions Charles Darwin defined as fundamental to all people. Her Central St Martins (University of the Arts, London) degree show runs until this Sunday (23rd June 2019). Opening hours are 12–8pm (12–6pm on Sunday).

(No, not in the least bit weird, actually.)