Nonsense

A dog vomited…

…right in front of me in Hebden Bridge Post Office this morning. That sort of nonsense had better stop, once we leave the EU.

Quiddities & Haecceities

Paul Keegan writing[£] about the poet/artist David Jones in the latest edition of the London Review of Books: The supposed pedantry or antiquarianism of Jones’s procedures, visual as well as verbal, are deceptive. He relied on anachronism, sly private reference and a conviction that accuracy was allied to distortion, just as the distortions of idiomatic… Continue reading Quiddities & Haecceities

Old habits

A woman turned to me in the dairy section at Sainsbury’s yesterday morning and remarked, “Old habits die hard.” I had absolutely no idea what she was on about, so I nodded in agreement.

There’s a blow

‪Just saw a businessman in the gents’ loo at Burtonwood Services try to dry his hands in the dispensing slot of a condom machine.

Normal for Batley

Yorkshire Post: Former Brexit Party candidate for Yorkshire seat says she comes from far-flung star and aliens are 'working with world Governments' A would-be MP for Batley and Spen believed aliens were “working with our world Governments” and that she came from a star called Sirius. Jill Hughes was the Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for the… Continue reading Normal for Batley

Irritating tickle

I’m at the back end of a three-day cold, and have developed an irritating tickle in my throat which causes me to cough with irksome regularity. It occurs to me that the Irritating Tickle would make an excellent stage-name for a clown magician.

His best shot

Somebody up there Whom I don’t believe in took His best shot with a lightning bolt yesterday. He was wide of the mark by a good 20 metres, but managed to take out a nearby telegraph pole. The ensuing electrical surge fried our landline, hub, data bridge, and expensive laser printer. Somewhat miraculously, our even… Continue reading His best shot