Old habits

A woman turned to me in the dairy section at Sainsbury’s yesterday morning and remarked, “Old habits die hard.” I had absolutely no idea what she was on about, so I nodded in agreement.

There’s a blow

‪Just saw a businessman in the gents’ loo at Burtonwood Services try to dry his hands in the dispensing slot of a condom machine.

Normal for Batley

Yorkshire Post: Former Brexit Party candidate for Yorkshire seat says she comes from far-flung star and aliens are 'working with world Governments' A would-be MP for Batley and Spen believed aliens were “working with our world Governments” and that she came from a star called Sirius. Jill Hughes was the Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for the… Continue reading Normal for Batley

Irritating tickle

I’m at the back end of a three-day cold, and have developed an irritating tickle in my throat which causes me to cough with irksome regularity. It occurs to me that the Irritating Tickle would make an excellent stage-name for a clown magician.

His best shot

Somebody up there Whom I don’t believe in took His best shot with a lightning bolt yesterday. He was wide of the mark by a good 20 metres, but managed to take out a nearby telegraph pole. The ensuing electrical surge fried our landline, hub, data bridge, and expensive laser printer. Somewhat miraculously, our even… Continue reading His best shot

I’m confused…

I thought it was the EU that was supposed to be ‘undemocratic’… BBC: Supreme Court: Suspending Parliament was unlawful, judges ruleBoris Johnson's decision to suspend Parliament was unlawful, the Supreme Court has ruled. Mr Johnson suspended—or prorogued—Parliament for five weeks earlier this month, but the court said it was wrong to stop MPs carrying out… Continue reading I’m confused…

Senior moment

In the latest of my increasingly common ‘senior moments’, I just opened a carton of grapefruit juice and poured its contents over my cereal. I think that must be what they refer to as a ‘continental breakfast’. (The only valid argument I’ve heard so far in favour of Brexit.)

The Boss turns 70

To mark the 70th birthday of Bruce Springsteen, who was born in the USA on this day in 1949, a timely reminder of the time I duetted with him (sort of) at a packed Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, way back in 2008. Happy birthday, Boss!