Quiddities & Haecceities

Paul Keegan writing[£] about the poet/artist David Jones in the latest edition of the London Review of Books:

The supposed pedantry or antiquarianism of Jones’s procedures, visual as well as verbal, are deceptive. He relied on anachronism, sly private reference and a conviction that accuracy was allied to distortion, just as the distortions of idiomatic usage were the maker’s mark of the individual: this person not that person. ‘Nothing excellent that is not odd,’ he said of his annual rereading of John Collier’s His Monkey Wife. He objected in general to biography as being ‘too little “about chaps”’ – by which he meant ‘contradictory, or anyway, complex quiddities & haecceities’ – and he thought no biographer was equipped to write more than one Life in one lifetime. Dilworth has measured up to this latter stricture, and is attentive to Jones as a chap, rather than ordering the life at the cost of its recalcitrant and scattered realia, since for Jones everything bore witness.

My sentiments exactly.

Old habits

A woman turned to me in the dairy section at Sainsbury’s yesterday morning and remarked, “Old habits die hard.”

I had absolutely no idea what she was on about, so I nodded in agreement.

There’s a blow

‪Just saw a businessman in the gents’ loo at Burtonwood Services try to dry his hands in the dispensing slot of a condom machine.

Normal for Batley

Yorkshire Post: Former Brexit Party candidate for Yorkshire seat says she comes from far-flung star and aliens are 'working with world Governments'

A would-be MP for Batley and Spen believed aliens were “working with our world Governments” and that she came from a star called Sirius.

Jill Hughes was the Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for the Brexit Party in the West Yorkshire constituency.

But when The Yorkshire Post contacted the Brexit Party today, a spokesman said Ms Hughes had stood down and the party would announce her replacement in due course.

Irritating tickle

I’m at the back end of a three-day cold, and have developed an irritating tickle in my throat which causes me to cough with irksome regularity.

It occurs to me that the Irritating Tickle would make an excellent stage-name for a clown magician.

His best shot

Somebody up there Whom I don’t believe in took His best shot with a lightning bolt yesterday.

He was wide of the mark by a good 20 metres, but managed to take out a nearby telegraph pole. The ensuing electrical surge fried our landline, hub, data bridge, and expensive laser printer. Somewhat miraculously, our even more expensive iMac computer and stupidly expensive hi-fi system, which are also connected to our local area network, survived the ordeal unscathed.

I wish I could say the same for my underpants.

I’m confused…

I thought it was the EU that was supposed to be ‘undemocratic’…

BBC: Supreme Court: Suspending Parliament was unlawful, judges rule
Supreme Court ruling
Boris Johnson's decision to suspend Parliament was unlawful, the Supreme Court has ruled.

Mr Johnson suspended—or prorogued—Parliament for five weeks earlier this month, but the court said it was wrong to stop MPs carrying out duties in the run-up to Brexit on 31 October.

Supreme Court president Lady Hale said "the effect on the fundamentals of democracy was extreme."

If that oaf ‘Boris’ Johnson a shred of honour (which clearly he doesn’t), he’d be stepping down to spend more time with whichever poor woman he’s shacked up with this week.

Senior moment

In the latest of my increasingly common ‘senior moments’, I just opened a carton of grapefruit juice and poured its contents over my cereal.

I think that must be what they refer to as a ‘continental breakfast’. (The only valid argument I’ve heard so far in favour of Brexit.)