Hebden Bridge wins top award as best town in Britain, total non-shock!
Nonsense
Be honest, you've seen this coming for a long time…
Your host finally loses it.
Lovely couple
I see Prince William has finally plucked up the courage to propose to Kate Winslet.
Parking mad
Councils lobby government to raise parking fines.
400,000 not out
As at 00:45am this morning, I was 400,000 hours old.
Swimming: overrated
When you think about it, isn't swimming a pretty odd thing to learn at school?
Two-faced
Terry Eagleton certainly seems to have a Janus fixation.
Hugging trees while Rome burns
Some clueless twat with more money that sense has just erected a wind turbine on the moor above our house.
Halloween
This evening, I shall go through the yearly ritual of strangling three chickens and slitting the throat of a goat to appease the gods and ward off the evil Halloween spirits.
Bambang, thank you ma'am!
The day one of our political parties elects a leader named Duk-Duk Oomondo Calrissian is the day that party gets my vote.